The Prodigal Son
by ExistInspire
Summary: Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past?
1. The Diagnosis

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

**Authors Note:** This is a story I am writing off line first as a real fiction that I hope to sell to a major publisher and also as a WWE fiction. I own the rights to my character Mariska Devlin and her autistic son. This story as born out of my real life struggle trying to raise a recently diagnosed son with Autism. I hope in some small way you enjoy this fiction because it has been inspirational as I have been writing it and I am happy to share it all with you. Thank you for any and all support.

* * *

"Mariska, after all the diagnostic testing that was done between you and the school; I am ready to diagnose JJ. With all of the time spent monitoring him, and interacting with him, what we have found is that JJ has a form of Autism that is actually quite common in young boys. It is called Asperger Syndrome. I have some material for you relating to it if you would like to take it home with you later today."

As she sat in the pediatric office, colorful childhood drawings adorning the walls; the lump in her chest grew bigger. Of course she had seen this coming, there had been small signs of it for years leading up to these doctors visits. She just hadn't prepared herself fully for what she was hearing.

JJ; as he was affectionately known, Jeffery Junior was her five year old son. The son she had always dreamed of having. The son who just happened to look like his father. But while she was blessed to have the wonderful young man in her life, she felt her heart rip open with the knowledge that his father would never get to have that same blessing.

Jeffery Nero Hardy. The only man she had ever allowed herself to completely, mind; body and soul love. The only man she had given her body to, all those years ago. Jeff Hardy, the man who was presumed dead more then five years ago after a plane he was flying aboard crashed. There were no known survivors.

Allowing herself to come away from the memories of her long ago love, she shifted her attention back to the doctor. He was still going through the motions of explaining the facts about autism and the more she listened, the sadder she became.

_You should be here with me right now Jeff. You should be here with all of your inner strength. To pull me up before I fall apart."_ She thought to herself, trying with all of her might to pay attention to what the doctor was explaining about JJ.

It wasn't that she couldn't do it alone, she had been doing just that since the day he had been born all those years ago. It was just that at times like these; she just wished she had his strength. His strong but silent body there beside her.

"What can I do Doctor?" she blurted out, cutting him off mid sentence, wanting a more human answer then what she was getting now. "What I mean is, what can I do for him to make him feel like the amazing young boy that he is, despite being Autistic?"

Mariska knew the answers she sought would never come; at least not from this doctor and not on this day. What she needed more then anything was Jeff back in her life again. Helping her to raise their child.

"You need to be patient with him, help him the way you have been. Nurture him and you will both get through this. Autism is a part of him but it doesn't have to be the thing that defines him. You can do this Mariska."

That was easy for the Doctor to say. He didn't have to be a single parent to a boy prone to outbursts and what the school called "trouble making." Some days were easier then others but it took all of her energy and all of her patience just to make it through the entire day.

_But you wouldn't change a damn thing because this little boy was made from the most powerful of loves._

She knew that to be true and she also knew she would get through all of this now as well. There was no other option for her because JJ was her entire world.

Mariska listened again as the Doctor went on about when he wanted to see them again and she mentally took down the information and appointment in her mind. Just another thing she had to remember and another thing she had to do alone.

She thanked the doctor, shaking his hand firmly as she did and made her way out of the office; JJ in tow behind her, more then happy to be out of the cramped and stuffy room. As they left the medical building, she took a long lingered look at her son, his smile just infectious.

He looked more and more like his father with each passing day and she was secretly thankful. With no body ever been recovered, Mariska; over the years believed that maybe Jeff could still be alive. As the years passed by that hope seemed to have faded and had turned to thankfulness that at least she had little JJ.

From his natural blond hair; to the extreme never say die attitude that Jeff had possessed when he had been alive, JJ was the epitome of his father and watching him now really warmed her heart.

Bringing her back to the present her son tugged on her arm excitedly. When she looked down at him her face filled with love. Despite the diagnosis, he was still her little boy and she loved him with every fiber of her being.

"Can we go and see Uncle Matt?"

Mariska, her mind lost for so long in memories of the past just nodded her head in agreement. If there was one person that had stepped up since Jeff's death, it had been his brother Matt. Another Angel she was thankful to have.

The plans had been made to visit Matt anyway, something she felt needed to be done. Because today, exactly five years after Jeff had passed on and the birth of their son; there was news to be shared.

For Mariska was finally going to become a Hardy, it just wasn't the way she had imagined it all those years ago.

* * *


	2. The Announcement

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

* * *

"Mariska; talk to me please. Tell me what's running through your mind." Matt Hardy asked lightly; coming up behind his fiancée and wrapping his arms securely around her waist.

He knew of course what was on her mind. It was also on his as well. It would be six years tomorrow since the plane that had been carrying his younger brother Jeff had gone down. Jeff had been Mariska's fiance then and he had been on his way to a wrestling show.

It was hard not to focus on anything but that fact. Jeff and Matt had been through everything together; truly closer then any two brothers could be. When that plane had gone down a part of Matt had gone down with it. He knew the same could be said about Mariska who had been pregnant at the time with her son, now named JJ.

But there was more to what she was feeling right now then the anniversary of the crash and she had to know it too. This wasn't all about the past anymore; it also had to do with their future. Their soon to be family.

"You must hate me for this Matt. This fear I have about our wedding. My unresolved feelings for your brother. I am having a hard enough time not hating myself."

Matt held onto her tightly, letting her know through his touch that he understood her feelings and would never hate her. Even if he wanted to hate this, the situation he couldn't. He loved her, despite her still present feelings for his brother.

Their relationship hadn't been planned of course. They had been friends, comforting each other after Jeff's death and subsequent investigation. It was purely innocent and was never meant to be more then it was. After four years and the time they both spent raising JJ together, they finally admitted to themselves that they were more then just friends.

"I could never hate you Mariska. He was my brother and each and every day that goes by I wonder if I have done right by him now. I didn't plan on loving you, or even loving JJ the way that I have, like he is my own son. I just know that I do."

Her voice was hoarse he knew from the crying she had done earlier in the day but his heart melted and skipped a beat when she whispered her next words. "I love you too Matt. I don't question those feelings for one second."

Holding onto each other, not wanting to let go of the feelings that they were both admitting too, he kissed the back of her head gently.

"We are going to be just fine. You, JJ and I. I know that Jeff would be okay with this if he could be here to tell us."

She nodded and let herself be pulled closer into his arms. She felt safe here with Matt and while her heart would never forget Jeff Hardy and the way he had made her feel, she knew what she had now with Matt was meant to be and that Jeff would be alright with it.

"I think JJ took our news well." Matt stated more to the air around them then to Mariska herself. They had told him about their upcoming wedding and what they would mean for their family. Matt had been worried about the young boy's reaction but JJ was nothing short of extraordinary. In fact he seemed downright gleeful about it.

He heard Mariska laugh then, something he found that he loved to hear but that she hardly ever did enough of. He knew she must be remembering JJ's reaction just as Matt had been. The kid never ceased to make their hearts melt.

The air grew cold around them then and Matt rubbed her shoulders, trying to give her some extra warmth. There was obviously still something that was bothering her though and he knew the night wouldn't on the way they wanted until she got it out there.

"Mariska; did something else happen at the doctors office today? Other then the talk about JJ and his diagnosis? Something that maybe we need to work through together?"

She broke down at that moment, shivering and crying in his arms obviously troubled by something that she just couldn't seem to get out. After about five minutes of tears, she took in a deep breath and looked up deep into her fiance's eyes. Deep into Matthew's eyes. The time had come for her to tell him everything.

"Yes Matt; there was more."

"What is it? You can tell me anything, you know that."

She touched him then, just letting her fingers linger on his face. She knew it was time to tell him but she couldn't help but feel afraid at the reaction.

"Matt--" she broke off, trying to push the words out of her throat. "I'm pregnant. You're going to be a father."

The minute the words spilled from her lips and he noticed the look in her eyes, he knew why she was so bothered by the news. They were going to have a baby and of all the days the news could have come, it had come on the worst day of the year.

The day Jeff Hardy had died.

* * *


	3. AJ Foster

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

**Authors Notes:** Thanks guys for the reviews. Im glad you like it so far :)

* * *

He awoke with a start and immediately felt the sweat pouring down his face. He tried to shake the feeling away and was failing miserably. It had been happening a lot lately, these feelings; coming from someplace unknown to him.

He felt the bed beside him and realized she wasn't there. He then caught sight of the alarm clock beside the bed and it all sunk in rather quickly. She was not in bed with him because she was at work.

His wife. He couldn't believe that they had finally actually taken the plunge after five long years together and had gotten married. He couldn't be happier with it if he tried though. If only he could stop having these dreams. Then everything might end up being pretty damn perfect.

AJ remembered with a knowing clarity when the dreams had first started. The voice of the woman that haunted his every waking and non awake moments. Where had it come from and why after three years hadn't it gone away or at the very least gotten better?

_Something is missing; something close to your heart._

He had heard this voice before of course; the voice in his head, trying to tell him something he just didn't understand. He had tried forcing himself on more then one occasion to figure out what was going on. Why there were images of unknown people in his mind; but he just could not make sense of anything.

Thank God for Bethany and the way she had been there for him when the accident happened. She had been his nurse in the hospital all those years ago and had tended to his injuries, more specifically the ones in his brain and the memory loss. She had really loved him back to life in the only way she had known how.

Here they were now, married and hoping to get started on that new family. Thinking about family now made the pull in his heart hurt. That was the one thing he missed the most about the brain damage that had occurred as a result of the accident. He didn't remember who he was or where he had come from and if he even had any family out there. If he did have family, did they even care now that he was alive?

Beth had christened him AJ. She told him she had wanted something short and sweet, the way that he was with her and to her. He should be thanking his lucky stars for Beth and the fact that he had her. But now, with another sweaty wake up call he found himself wondering just who the blond haired woman was in his dreams.

In the dream she had pleaded with him to come home to her, back to the life they shared together; that she couldn't do it alone anymore. In the recesses of his mind he remembered being intimate with the woman because the way she made him feel in the dreams could only be done by someone that knew him, inside and out.

As he stepped from the bedroom and turned off the light on his way out the door; making his way down the stairs he silently prayed that one day he would have the answers that he sought.

The most important one being; if he wasn't AJ Foster, just who the hell was he?

* * *


	4. Is It Father's Day?

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

* * *

Matt had gone back on the road again, back to the world him and Jeff had made their own; the WWE and she found herself pensive hoping his flight out would be okay. It was a habit that she couldn't break; worrying about Matt. She never wanted to live through another plane crash again.

Mariska watched her son before her, flapping his arms in the air; waving a string around talking to it in a voice only used for this type of play. It was a symptom of the Autism, the doctor had told her at the appointment only a few days before. Before the diagnosis she used to chalk his play up to being like his father, the enigma and imaginative Jeff, but after the medical testing, she now supposed she knew better.

Understanding why he did it did not make it any easier to cope with though. At the very least she was thankful that she had Matt and his understanding nature around them because he dealt a lot better with it then she did.

"Mommy; is uncle Matt going to be my new daddy?"

She looked up from her magazine and her thoughts and saw the questioning look on her sons face. It was obvious he had this marriage on his mind and truth be told; she was thankful for the distraction.

"He wants to be your Daddy honey but he also told you last night that it's up to you."

JJ seemed to think about that for a few seconds; all the while Mariska watching the changes in him. They had discussed with JJ last night just what this wedding and marriage would mean. Matt had even gone so far as to ask JJ if he could marry his mother. The gesture had touched Mariska's heart more then she had let on and was equally touched when JJ had given him the okay.

"I think Uncle Matt would make a good daddy." JJ blurted out, looking at his mother again. "Can I call him Daddy from now on?"

Now this was where Mariska's heart became twisted and broken. She knew no one could ever take Jeff's place both in her heart and where her son was concerned, but was she really okay with Jeff's son calling another man, even if it was his Uncle, Daddy? At this point she just wasn't sure anymore. It didn't help matters much that she had been thinking not of her upcoming wedding, or her pregnancy, but of her past with Jeff lately either.

The phone rang at that moment blissfully saving Mariska from having to directly answer JJ's question. As she stood from the chair she made sure her son would stay put while she ran inside the door for the phone. Content that he would, she ran in and picked up the receiver and answered politely.

"Hardy Residence."

She had answered the phone that way for years; ever since Jeff had proposed six months before his death. It felt like home saying it and in a few short weeks it would finally be a reality. Just not in the way she had originally imagined it.

"I miss you and JJ. Can I skip this one tour and come home and be with you?"

Mariska smiled at the sound of his voice coming through the speaker into her ears. He always did this when he had to go on a tour and she never tired of it. For when he did it, she was re affirmed of her feelings for him and the future they were going to share.

"You know you can but I do not think you'd have a job to go back too if you actually did it. We miss you too though. We we just talking about you."

"Really?" Matt asked, his interest obviously peaked, even from a million miles away. "What ego boosting things am I getting today?"

He didn't know it but she couldn't stop smiling. She hadn't smiled a lot since losing Jeff the way she had but Matt was slowly changing that. She wished he was here to bear witness to the changes in her.

"JJ wants to call you Daddy."

Matt was silent then, making Mariska worry that they had been disconnected. It was when she heard the muffled sound of a sniffle that she understood the silence. He was so touched that he was crying.

"Is it Fathers Day?" he choked out then, again making Mariska's heart warm with love.

"No but I bet it sure feels like it is."

They talked a little while longer, reaffirming their feelings for each other and just how much they missed each other and couldn't wait until they were back in each others arms again. After a few short moments Matt said he had to go.

"I love you Mariska, and I will call you and JJ again tomorrow."

She said she loved him back all the while trying to stop the worry that was rising in her stomach. She hated when Matt promised another call as it always made her fear for the time when like his brother before him, the call wouldn't come.

* * *


	5. Misplaced

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

* * *

She had made him dinner over an hour ago and he had yet to touch a bit of it. For that matter, he hadn't said much of anything since she had come home from the hospital. It wasn't unlike him to be unusually quiet, but when he had been cheerful the night before; he was now distraught.

Did she dare ask him what had changed since then? Was it possible after all of these years he was finally remembering who he was and where he had come from and was just afraid to tell her?

"AJ; what's wrong? You've barely touched your dinner and wasn't it you who asked me to bring this home from the store and make it?"

She had tried to say and ask in a light tone of voice, knowing from experience that he would balk if she asked too seriously or pushed to hard. As caring a man as he was; he wasn't very good at expressing his feelings with others, choosing instead for the easier way out and writing them all down.

Bethany knew instantly that AJ was now more bothered by her asking him then he had been before. She should have just left it alone. She just couldn't help but wonder just who AJ really was. Was that so wrong that she was curious about the man she had married?

"It's the damn headaches again alright? And I haven't been able to sleep because of the dreams and the voices I keep hearing in my head. I just can't stop them—the damn voices."

Well there it was, the problems that were really bothering him. But what was all of this talk about dreams and voices? Could this be further trauma from the plane crash, happening six years after the fact?

"Why don't you just go and rest then? I can put this food away for later when you are feeling more up to eating it."

He pushed back from the table then, his frustration at an all time high. She took a step back as he moved, shaking the table along with him. As he started to walk away, she tugged on his shirt sleeve, making him slow down and finally look at her. Really stop and look at her.

"AJ I love you. I don't mean to pry. I know there are a lot of things you need answers too. I will do whatever it takes to help you to get them. Just don't pull away from me now. Not when we need each other more then ever before."

He softened his expression then, the frustration and anger of only a few seconds before being replaced with the love he had shown her each and every day for the past six years. He was coming around to her again and she was more then pleased with it. But she knew that there was still something she needed to bring up.

"Maybe it's time we looked into getting you some help AJ. Maybe it is time for us to find out just who you really are."

He nodded and pulled her close to him, needing to feel her as near to him as possible in that moment. He knew she was right and that he finally needed to get answers. He felt lately like he was half of a man and with the dreams of the woman and her calling out for him, he was worried that he had left someone behind. Someone that he held more then just a friendly passing with. He was afraid he needed to find someone that he deeply loved. And holding his wife now, he knew if that was the case then they were in for some bumpy roads ahead.

* * *


	6. The Wedding Dress Memory

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

* * *

"Thank you for this Ashley. I know you would rather be anywhere but here with me and for this reason right now."

She knew Matt and the young Diva shared a past. One that hadn't exactly ended the way she had hoped it would. Mariska also knew having her here now, while she looked for a wedding dress had to sting just a little bit.

"What happened between Matt and I is ancient history Mariska. The only thing that matters now is making sure you look amazing when you take that long walk down the aisle."

At the mention of the dress and walking down the aisle Mariska felt herself remember the past and what it had been like when she had been engaged to Jeff and pregnant at the same time. How Jeff had come home early every night just to be with her and the baby she was carrying, only to have to fly out bright and early the next morning.

On one of those excursions they had gone shopping for wedding attire. She had been worried about looking like a beached whale in her dress and he had been there to tell her how much he loved how big she was getting because it meant that the baby was growing and was healthy.

That baby was all grown up now though and Jeff had never got the chance to see him. They didn't ride bikes together, wrestle, watch as JJ took his first steps and even learn to talk. All of those things, those momentous things that every parent looks forward too; well he had missed out on them all.

Sometimes in her alone moments she allowed herself to be angry with the WWE and even going so far as to blame them for his death. Or his disappearance anyway. She still to this day wished with all of her being that he would someday come back to her and their son. It was these times that she felt absolutely horrible.

She had Matt now, a man who just happened to really love her the way she deserved to be. Despite knowing the way that her heart had felt and still feels now about his younger brother. She just had to keep remembering that Jeff was indeed gone and that Matt was here. He was her here and now.

"You still miss him don't you?" Ashley asked, bringing Mariska out of her reverie and reminding her just what they were there to do.

"Every waking moment of every single day. Living with JJ and knowing what Jeff is missing out on each and every day makes it even harder."

"I am sure he sees what you've gone and one, raising JJ the way you have. I am sure Jeff is happy with the way things have turned out."

Mariska knew that Ashley had a very valid point and that Jeff would have the best of all from his place in heaven, looking down on them. It just didn't give her much comfort when all she wanted was to have him there with her. To make it so that he had never taken that flight that day.

"You must think I'm horrible Ash. Some days, well most days really I wonder just how mean I have been. Agreeing to marry Matt when I am still so obviously holding out hope that Jeff is alive and will make his way home to me and our son."

Ashley reached out and held onto the young womans hand. Reassuring her without words that she did not believe any of that and that she, Mariska, shouldn't believe it either.

"Matt went through the same myriad of emotions when Jeff died that you are going through. It bonded you two. So it was only natural that you two would eventually marry. He knows your feelings for Jeff and he knows that the love you two shared will never truly die. He just also knows that he loves you as much as you do him. In the only way the two of you can."

* * *


	7. Enigmatic Dream

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

**Authors Note:** This is the chapter a lot of you have predicted coming for some time now. I hope that while its short based on a notebook writing of it, that it will have the same impact as a longer one would. I'm sure you will all let me know what you think.

* * *

"_Congratulations you two! It looks like you're having a boy!"_

_The ultrasound technician smiled and Jeff was beaming with absolute pride. There couldn't be a prouder father to be anywhere in the world then what Jeff was now. Mariska couldn't be happier is she tried. It was finally becoming a reality._

"_Do you have a name yet Mariska?" Jeff asked her, not for one moment taking his eyes off of the ultrasound screen. He knew she did, have a name picked out that was. She had only been narrowing it down for weeks but he still wanted to hear her idea's._

"_JJ. I am going to name him JJ. Jeffery Nero Hardy Junior."_

_Staring at the screen completely taken by the small image, in the shape of a baby by now seemingly floating all over his mothers stomach, he smiled brightly. He was so filled with an overwhelming sense of pride. He was about to have a baby with the woman of his dreams. Life couldn't get any better for all of them._

"_I wish my mom was here for this." he whispered softly. Knowing that his mother could see from where she was but not missing her any less. He had never gotten a chance to be close to her and with this new baby, he knew they never really would be. He wanted her to be here to see what kind of man he had become and that he was still the same young boy that he had been when she was alive. He may have grown but he certainly hadn't changed. _

_Mariska hadn't known Ruby Hardy because she had passed on before her and Jeff had met. But Jeff spoke of her often, so much so that Mariska felt like she knew her personally. She knew having a baby made Jeff crave his mother that much more. She was torn because other then a few kind words from her heart, there really was nothing she could do for him. She couldn't bring his mother back to him._

"_Ruby is a part of this baby Jeff because she is the best part of you. She's happy, I can feel it."_

_Not saying another word Jeff leaned over the hospital bed she was still laid out upon and he gently kissed her lips. As he pulled away he whispered in her ears, the words she would never forget._

"_Thank you for giving me my heart back. Thank you for giving me JJ."  
_

He flew up in the bed then, enveloped in the darkness around him and aware of his wife sleeping soundly beside him. The dream was earth shattering this time; unlike any of the others before it.

He scanned the recesses of his memory bank and the names flew at him at an alarming speed. The woman in his vision, locked tightly in his heart and mind, her name was Mariska. He was fearful with the amount of information that was now flying at him all at once.

Did he have a son out there somewhere? Had the baby been born and was there a chance he was really out there, alone and without his father by his side? Why had he been on that plane that fateful day all those years ago? Why wasn't he at home with Mariska and the baby, named JJ?

It was then that the realization hit and he realized that Mariska, the woman from his dreams, she had said his name as well.

He closed his eyes, trying to remember before his sleepy haze wore odd and he lost it forever. He knew he was close to figuring out just who he was. Who he had been then and he did not want to go back in time. He needed to make sure he remembered this now for fear that he might never remember again.

Slipping out of the bed quickly and quietly so not to wake up Bethany who thankfully was still out cold beside him, he grabbed a pen and the pad beside the lamp.

He wrote the name down then and he followed it up with the two names of the only real family he knew that he had. An inner calm came over him then and he fully embraced it. He finally knew who he was. He was no longer a blank slate with no past to speak of.

As he focused on the name on the paper, he made a silent vow to the darkness that surrounded him. A vow that was only between him and God now.

"I am coming back to you. I am going to make it back to my family."

* * *


	8. Two Week Tour

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

* * *

Matt watched her across the kitchen table as she picked apart her food, piece by piece; little by little. He wanted to throw the idea past her, about allowing JJ to come on the road with him but he wasn't sure this was the right time.

No time seemed to be good lately he noticed. If she wasn't preparing for their wedding she was dealing with JJ and figuring out better ways to parent him after his diagnosis. With him on the road with the WWE so much it made it difficult to find the smallest amount of time to talk.

She was having issues with the school and getting them to make a learning plan for JJ. It was causing her even more stress then she already had on her shoulders. So he had come up with this idea, gotten the okay from head office and put the rest of the wheels in motion. He knew that she needed this but he also knew that she wasn't going to admit to needing it.

"Mariska, Can I talk to you about something?"

She looked up from her plate and smiled gently in his direction and nodded her head. She put her fork down instantly, ready to give him her full attention. JJ followed suit and did the same, ready to listen as well.

"With all of the trouble with JJ's school, your pregnancy and all of the other stresses right now, including but not limited to the wedding, I was thinking it might be a good idea if I took JJ on the road with me."

Matt waited a few minutes watching as she digested the information he had just thrown her way. He knew she probably wouldn't go for it but as he saw her eyes grow cloudy he had no indication it would turn out the way that it was going too.

"Why would I want to let my son go out on the road with that travelling circus?"

She didn't mean any of it, she knew that even as the words spilled out of her mouth but she knew what had happened the last time someone she loved had gone on the road with the WWE and she did not want the same thing to happen to her son.

"Mariska I know it is a bit of a shock, this idea and all but why are you reacting this badly? I just want to take some of the stress off of your plate. You need a break and I would love to have JJ keep me company on the road."

She knew he didn't deserve this, that he was really only trying to help in the nicest way he could but after what had happened to Jeff she would have assumed he would have thought this out a little bit longer.

"I can't do that Matt." I want him to be closer to you; you are the only father he knows. I just cannot put him in danger. He is all I have left."

He tried not to let her last comment sting him but it did none the less. It always came back to Jeff in one way or another and Matt was beginning to worry now that it always would. Would she ever be able to separate her lingering feelings for his brother and just open herself up to completely loving him?

"We aren't going to fly. I already set that up. JJ will not be anywhere near a plane. Not until you are ready Mariska. I have two home school teachers lined up, ones that specialize in special needs children. Vince has even agreed to pay for everything so that we don't have to worry about the toll it will take on our finances. Honey please, let me do this for you...for us."

He knew going in that she would have fears and he wanted to show her that he took those into account when making these plans. He wanted to show her just how much he cared and how serious he took all of her concerns. No matter how little they seemed at the time.

Matt noticed her features soften and in that moment he knew he had her. She was finally seeing that he wanted to do the right thing by her and by JJ and Matt secretly couldn't be happier. Maybe she was ready to move on after all.

"How long?"

"Just one two week tour. Then he can come back home again and be with you. I've also requested the whole Summer off as well so that I can be with my family. That is of course if you will have me?"

She stood up from the table and with JJ watching in gleeful excitement she gave Matt a small kiss on the lips. She was still worried about it but she knew Matt would never put himself or JJ at risk. He was smarter then that, especially after what they had all been through.

"Of course I'll have you Matt. There is no one else I could possibly want to have by my side."

But even as the words came out of her mouth both her and Matt knew that it wasn't entirely truthful. The only other person that could threaten what they had now was Jeff. And he was long since dead.

* * *


	9. Jeff Hardy Of WWE

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

**Authors Note: **Very short chapter alert here but it needs to stand on its own.

* * *

He had never done anything like this before and was completely unsure of where to go next.

They had a computer at home of course, complete with the Internet service but any time he had even thought to use it to communicate he always felt sick to his stomach. So he hadn't used it once in the four years since Bethany had bought the damn thing.

He probably would have used it now because he wanted to know about himself but he didn't want Bethany reading too much into his searching.

"_Admit it, you don't want her to find out that you may have a wife and son out there somewhere. A family that hasn't seen or heard from you in years."_

He didn't want to admit it but his inner voice was right. He could potentially break his wifes heart if she knew what he had learned about himself.

Jeff pulled up a chair at an open library terminal and opened the Internet screen. When the page loaded he saw immediately that it was a search engine. Just what he was going to need to search for information on his life.

He typed in the name from his dream, his real name and almost fell off the chair once he took sight of the amount of names and pages that had come up. Surely there couldn't be that many Jeff Hardy's in the world?

He clicked on the first link that popped up and that was when it all came flooding back to him. It wasn't that there were a lot of Jeff Hardy's in the world. It was that he was THE Jeff Hardy of the WWE.

* * *


	10. Long Lost Letter

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

* * *

"_Leave the past at the door when you marry Matt."_

That had been from her Mother, two days earlier and it was what prompted her to do this now. The time had come, she knew it but it didn't make what had to be done any easier.

She was in the attic where she had stored all of Jeff's old clothes and other projects he had been working on at the time that he had died. She inhaled deeply as she opened up a dusty old box that was appropriately named **Letters.**

She was unsure of what might be in the box and was not entirely desperate to find out. It had been almost six years since she had put these items up here, never to look at them again. But her mom was right. She had to finally make peace that he was not coming back and move on with her life. This was the first step in that.

Mariska pulled out the pile of documents and after a quick scan through them she realized what they were. Years and Years of letters Jeff had written while on the road ad away from here and the love they had shared.

Could she really look at these now? Knowing that by doing so she would be risking her relationship with Matt by going deeper into the past she was trying to distance herself from? She was up here trying to rid herself of the painful memories not delve deeper into them. Going against her better judgment she slid one of the letters out of the original envelope; which had yellowed over the years.

His scrawling over the envelope with her name was untouchable and that alone threatened the tears that were lingering on the surface. Unfolding the letter, she took a deep breath and began to read, bringing herself back to the time when the letter had been written in her mind.

Mari,

I know you hate when I call you that but before you write yourself a mental note to kick my ass, I want you to hear me out.

Mariska, the nights on the road being away from you are killing me. So much so that I have asked Vince McMahon for some time off to be with you. I miss you so much, it pains me to breathe. The only thing that comforts me is that at night I dream of being there with you, my arms wrapped around you and keeping you safe.

Mariska, I want to marry you. I know that this isn't the traditional way to ask but I'm anything but traditional. I was so sure I was allergic to marriage all these years without it. But you came into my life and changed that in me. You made my fear vanish and you made me believe in you...in us.

Just know that every star you see in the sky at night is a star that i have wished on. They are also the stars I will travel on to get back to where I want to be...with you.

Forever ours, this life,

Jeff

She wiped the tears from her eyes as she put the letter back into the envelope slowly and carefully. She remembered that time like it was yesterday. He had laughed about it later, that he had first proposed in a letter but she never found the humor in it at all. She knew it wasn't the normal way for one to propose but for him and for what their relationship had been, it was perfect.

He had told her once that ever since his mother died he had been afraid of marriage and all that it would bring with it. He was afraid that if he followed through with any marriage he would lose his wife the same way that his father Gil had lost Ruby Hardy all those years ago. She had understood and had never expected anything like what she had gotten.

She didn't need to marry Jeff to know how committed he had been. But in proposing to her in the manner that he had, well it had been all she could have asked for and more.

But in knowing what Jeff had done for her was above and beyond what she had ever dreamed of, and the fact that it had never come to pass the way they had planned it, could she in good conscious marry his brother?

* * *


	11. Lie by Omission

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

* * *

He paced back and forth throughout the kitchen; watching the woman who he had pledged his life to cooking him dinner. Bethany had been wonderful to him throughout everything after the accident and he couldn't have asked for a more attentive wife. Which made what he had to tell her now that much more difficult.

"Baby; I need to talk to you. It's kind of important. Can you slow cook the dinner and sit down with me for a few minutes please?"

She did as he asked and took a seat at the table, fully aware that what he needed to say to her was obviously eating him alive as he hadn't talked to her much since she had arrived home that day. She had noticed his pacing but hadn't wanted to cause a stir. She knew deep down that he would talk in his own time. Which apparently was now.

"What's going on AJ?"

He cupped his hands together and looked directly in her eyes. "I think I know who I am. I found out some things today. I just know that I can't keep it from you. You deserve to know just who I am just as much as I do."

"What have you found out AJ? What has you all torn up like this?"

"My name is Jeffrey Nero Hardy, my birthday is August 31, 1977 and I have a brother and a father who fully believe that I am dead. I am a professional wrestler with a company named the WWE." He knew he had left out possibly the most important part. The part about his fiancée and their son but he wasn't even sure if the baby was alive or not. Should he even bother her with that news?

She didn't say anything at first but then began talking. "A Father and a Brother? My God AJ!..I mean Jeff. They must be completely destroyed not knowing that you are alive! Is there anything else?"

"I was born in Cameron, North Carolina, where my brother and father still apparently live but I am not completely sure on that. There isn't much else I know at this point."

Bethany was silent for a few moments, letting it all sink in. For years she had been content now knowing about his past, just wanting to be a part of his future but now she was faced with the reality that this man, her husband had a complete other life, separate from the one that they shared together. That thought was heartbreaking but she forged on.

"What are you going to do?"

"I booked a flight today to North Carolina. It leaves in the morning. I want you to be with me but at the same time I feel like I need to do this on my own. I need to see my brother and father, even if it is from a distance for the time being."

_I also need to see if I have a son. _He thought but never said aloud.

He hated keeping this from her, but in his mind he knew it might just be the thing to break her heart. It would come out if and when it had been confirmed and he only hoped his wife could forgive him for omitting it now. He just knew it was the right thing to do.

* * *


	12. Visiting With Gil

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

* * *

"Do my eyes deceive me or is that my future daughter standing on my porch?" Gil Hardy said as he made his way up the driveway to the front door. They may only live down the way from each other but Gil was always happy to see her and his grandson, Jeff Junior.

He often wondered what Jeff would think about his son if he hadn't perished the way that he had in the plane crash all of those years ago. Would he be astounded by how much the boy looked like him, right down to the shape of his nose and the curve of his lips? What he wondered most of all was if Ruby and Jeff saw them all together now and if they were happy with the way life had moved on.

"I think I've always been your baby girl Gil. It just took all these years to finally make it stick." Mariska laughed, throwing her arms around her soon to be father in law.

"Where's my boy?"

"He went out back to see the old junker you brought home. You know thanks to you I think JJ might want an old clunker to drive when he's a teenager."

Gil laughed loudly, an infectious sort of laugh that Jeff had inherited and had when they had been together. He motioned with his hands to follow him into the house, which Mariska gladly did. As she was about to step in JJ came barreling around the corner, pushing his way past her, almost making her lose her balance. Before she could stop and reprimand him, Gil stepped in.

"JJ; one of the first lessons you need to learn in this life is that when opening a door, its always ladies first. Now apologize to your Mama and go inside."

"Sorry Papa, sorry Mama." JJ said, obviously upset at having been reprimanded but even more so that his grandfather had been the one to do it. He followed them in the house and immediately ran up the stairs to Jeff's old room, which was now a playroom for JJ when he visited.

"Matthew told me about JJ and what the Doctors have had to say. I'm sorry that you have to go through all of this."

Mariska knew what he was trying to say and couldn't. He was sorry that Jeff wasn't here to help her raise their handicapped child. She understood it because she often felt sorry as well. Mostly she felt sorry for JJ because he may never truly know the man, the enigma that his father had been.

"It's worth it Gil. That little boy is going to take the world by storm. He is going to make a real change. If we look at this any other way then positively then we make life for JJ that much harder. I want to be the one that makes it better."

Gil just nodded his head in silent agreement. All everyone wanted was the best for that little boy. It was no secret that the little man was lacking a stable home with a mother and a father and Gil just hoped that Matt knew what he was getting into and that he could be the one to give them both that.

"So why don't you tell me the real reason you are here. As much as I want to believe you wanted to see my old mug, I happen to know deep down that there is more too it."

Mariska felt the crimson blush spread over her face. She had never been the best liar and Gil had always been able to see right through her when she tried.

"It's the anniversary of Jeff's death. I've been spending the days putting away his things and I guess its hitting me harder then I expected it too. With Matt being away right now I just feel so alone."

"How so?" Gil interjected lightly, not wanting to push her but knowing what this day, and all of these days leading up to it meant to all of them.

"I love Matt more then I ever thought possible after what I shared with Jeff, but with each passing year the past seems to come back to haunt me. God help me but I keep holding out hope that he will come walking through that door. I know it's silly but my heart just won't seem to let me let go of him. I don't want to believe he's gone but at the same thing I know its the right thing to do."

Gil wrapped his arms around Mariska then feeling in his heart that this was what she really needed. He was not an emotional man, had never claimed to be one but in that moment he knew he had to be because he felt exactly the same way as she did.

He didn't want to believe his son was gone either.

* * *


	13. Bionicles and Weddings

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

**Authors Note:** Very Short chapter alert. It needed to stand on its own because the next chapter will be a different day. Sorry about the shortness of it. Thanks for all of the support on this fiction guys, its my baby off line and on :)

* * *

She paced back and forth in the living room, revisiting her heart wrenching conversation with Gil earlier in the Hardy home. She had made some decisions, serious ones that would affect life as she knew it. She knew now though that she didn't want to wait another day. It was time to put the past behind her and do the right thing for her family.

Apparently Gil didn't want to wait either because along with her decision came his offer of help and support in any way she needed. Now; as she waited for Matt and JJ to come home, she hoped he would feel the same way as her.

The door opened then and JJ came barreling through it, eager to show his mother the toy that he now held tightly in his tiny grasp. It was obvious by the look on Matt's face that he had caved in and gotten JJ the new Bionicle toy he had been begging for.

"Mommy this is so freaking awesome! You see his sword? It lights up when you push the button." he began to push the button to show her what it indeed could do and she couldn't help but smile.

She smiled at his ability to get so excited over such a small toy. But she knew that watching the toy in action was going to have to wait as she needed to discuss her plans with Matt.

"JJ I want to hear all about it but right now Mom needs to talk to Daddy for a second. Is that alright?"

JJ rolled his eyes but smiled before Mariska could comment. He sure knew how to push her buttons. "It's big people time."

"Yes sweetness it is. But it won't take long I promise. Then we can all sit down and work on your toy together."

JJ nodded and ran from the room in excitement. Matt caught her eye and walked over to meet her. He kissed her lips gently before looking away and sitting on the sofa. It was obvious that he thought she had bad news. The great thing was, he wasn't even close this time because the news couldn't be better.

"Are you calling it off?" he choked out, afraid to catch her eye and see the truth that was surely lying there.

"No Matt! I love you and want to marry you still. But this does concern our wedding."

"What about it?" he questioned lighter now, still unafraid to catch the look in her eye. He didn't know what they could possibly have to talk about with the wedding since all of the details had been worked out but he wasn't exactly eager to find out.

"I have a plan and I hope that you say yes."

"Yes."

Mariska laughed and kissed his lips gently. Sometimes she couldn't believe she had found someone as stable and as good as Matt Hardy had been for her. "You didn't even hear me out!"

"When you love someone the way that I love you, you don't have to hear the idea. So yes, I will do whatever you want. Whatever the idea is. I'm all for it."

She smiled again, touched deeply, more then words could say by the confession he had just made to her. "Marry me tomorrow. At your fathers house. He has it all set up and ready. We talked today and he made me take real stock of my life. I don't want to wait another day."

* * *


	14. I'm Not Him

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

**Authors Notes:** I am horrible with replies lately, so for that I'm sorry but I thank each and every one of you for your support. It really does mean a lot. This chapter may seem like more of the same drag on with Mariska but business will start to pick up very soon.

* * *

Mariska walked into the house nervously, not sure of what she was really hoping to find. What she did find as she made a mental sweep of the house just about took her breath away.

The Hardy house had literally been transformed from top to bottom. There were lavish arrays of flowers located in just about every area of the home, but more so in the living room area. The sofa, which had been a staple of the room was now gone and in its place an arch lined with pink and red roses. It almost made Mariska want to cry with the amount of thought and love that so obviously went into this room. And it was all for her and Matt.

"So is it what you always dreamed in your mind it would be?" a thick male voice said behind her as she felt arms wrap around her slender body.

"It's more." she replied, allowing her body to be further enveloped into his.

She knew the old wives tale about not seeing each other before the wedding but with all that they had been through together over the last five years, seeing Matt now and having him there right beside her, it just seemed like the right thing to be doing. Besides, the last time she checked there wasn't a damn thing traditional about her or the life she now led.

"Daddy wanted to do this for you. He told me that he wanted to make all of your dreams come true."

The last statement sent shock waves through Mariska's body. There had been a time not too long ago that she had believed she was about to fulfill all of her dreams. She had been engaged to a wonderful man and pregnant with his child. Really she had believed nothing would or could ever ruin it. But something had.

She instantly felt guilty fir what she was now thinking. She was still living her dream, even if the characters seemed to have shifted a bit. She still had the love of a wonderful man in Matthew Hardy and she should be more then thankful for all of it.

So why now as she stood in the middle of the Hardy living room, where in a few short hours she would become Mariska Hardy, did she feel as if she was betraying the man who had always held her heart? Why did she feel like she was betraying the memory of Jeff?

"You're with him again aren't you?" Matt asked, his voice calm and controlled, now showing any signal as to what he was feeling about it.

"No Matt I'm not with him. I'm with you. In case you forgot you are the one I am marrying today, not him."

Her voice had come out harsher then she had wanted it too and she knew it was going to wound him. He was a strong man but at the end of the day he was just as timid as his brother had been.

"I'm not accusing you of anything sweetheart. I just know that you must be thinking of him and the wedding you both should have had."

She knew that wasn't what he meant by his earlier statement but was too worn out to argue with him. Especially not today when in a few hours she was going to walk down the aisle to him.

"I'm sorry Mariska."

She pulled away from him then, turning to face him, as if seeing him say sorry would make more sense of it. She waited for him to say it again and when he did she struck.

"What can you possibly have to be sorry about Matt?"

He paced in front of her, back and forth for what felt like forever until she could no longer take it and put her hands roughly on his shoulders , forcing him to take notice of her and stop moving.

"What Matt? What are you sorry about?"

He caught her eye then and with a forlorn look of absolute sadness, he answered, breaking her heart just a little in the process.

"I'm sorry that I'm not him. I'm sorry you aren't marrying Jeff today and that you got stuck with me."

* * *


	15. Leave The Past Behind

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

**Authors Note:** This chapter is so damn short and I know it. But I needed to break it off where I did last chapter because it seemed right at the time. Now the next couple of chapters are going to be builders and the tension is going to get worse. The worst is coming so beware. LOL Thanks for all the support guys, your the best!

* * *

"This isn't about you not being him Matt. I know you aren't him. It's about me. I have never really been able to give him up even though my mind knows that he's gone. You deserve a hell of lot better then that don't you think?"

_I don't want to be doing this on my wedding day damn it."_ he thought, reaching for something else to say that would make all of this madness stop.

He planned on marrying this woman today, no matter what her feelings for his dead brother were. He needed to marry her, because his very heart depended on it. JJ needed a father, he needed JJ to be his son but most of all he needed Mariska because despite how and why it had happened, he deeply loved her.

"I deserve to be loved and Mariska, I know you love me deep inside. I can accept your feelings for Jeff. The two of you share a son together. I get that. But what I can't handle is you pushing me away. Not when we both know its not something you want to do."

"Despite everything you know to be true, you're telling me that you can overlook it all and marry me anyway Matt? You can really accept the way I can't seem to let go of your brother and completely give you my heart?"

Matt, his eyes locked on hers, not breaking away for even a second just nodded his head. It didn't matter to him how she felt about Jeff because he was gone, he had been for years and she had pledged her love and her life to him now.

"So do you still want to do this Mariska? Can you walk down the aisle to me and pledge to love me forever? Because if you can't this is your chance. I will let you back out and not hold any hard feelings."

He waited with each passing second, praying this would turn out the way the wanted it too. With only a few short hours until they were due to be married, there really was only one way this should go.

"Yes Matt, I will marry you. I can do that without even thinking because I do love you."

He wrapped his arms around her, his heart wanting to explode in pure joy. It had gone the way he wanted it too and they were going to be married and now there was nothing standing in their way or stopping them. They had gotten it all out in the open and would deal with it each and every day as it came. As a team.

"I think now that we've gotten all of this out in the open, its time that you went and got ready. We have a wedding we have to attend and I don't want my future wife to be late for it."

* * *


	16. Life Passing By

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

* * *

He had expected that the minute he stepped off the plane his life here in this town would all come flooding back to him. But he found now as he jumped into the cab in downtown Raleigh, he still didn't recognize a damn thing.

_It must be because this isn't where I spent all my time. It will come back once I get to Cameron._ He thought to himself as he relayed his destination to the driver. Surely once he finally got home to his family, the father and brother he had left behind then all of this back story and history would come crashing back to him.

It couldn't come at a better time either. He was married to a wonderful woman, one he planned on having a real family with and he couldn't wait to share that news with his long lost family. He was sure that after the initial shock of his resurrection wore off, they would both be dying to know and meet the woman who had single handedly saved him and brought him back to life and living.

There was still that part in the back of his mind though, about the woman in his dreams and if she had indeed given birth to his son JJ. If she had, what would the boy be like and would he be happy to see the father he had never gotten the chance to know?

What about the woman, Mariska from his most intimate dreams? Would she be surprised to see him as well or would she resent the intrusion on her life? Was she even still in Cameron, North Carolina or after his death had she walked away and moved to parts unknown?

Deep down he prayed that she hadn't moved and that if they did have a son together then he was still there with her too.

Why hadn't he just found the number for Gilbert Hardy, his father and called him? He could have saved himself all of these worries if he had. The reason he had gotten on a plane was because he had wanted to see them for himself. He wanted to be able to get the lay of the land so he could control the memories and outcome that would come back to him. Over the phone his memory would still be a total blank, but in person the possibilities were endless.

"So what brings you to Raleigh? Or Cameron?" the cab driver asked, trying to make polite conversation on what was looking to be a long drive.

"Going home to see my family." Was all he could manage. There was no need for this man to know that he didn't even know if his family was even still there.

"How come you're making the trip now? Have big independence Day plans?"

Jeff wanted to tell the man to shut up and mind his own business but thought better of it. The poor driver didn't know him or care about his plans. He just wanted to make small talk. Jeff couldn't really fault him for that.

"No plans. I just haven't been home for a long time and now seemed better then later."

The man seemed to accept this answer at face value because he nodded his head in agreement and ended the conversation. Choosing instead to keep watching the road.

Jeff settled himself back into the seat and watched as the world seemed to pass him by on the outside. He couldn't help feeling said as it did because the passing of the scenery felt surprisingly a lot like his life at the moment.

Everything just seemed to be passing him by. He just hoped he wasn't too late to catch up to it.

* * *


	17. The Long Walk

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

**Authors Notes:** I know the chapters are short. Consider it one of the downfalls of having this story written off line. So for those of you that emailed or reviewed and asked me to change the length a bit and make it longer, I apologize but the way its written in my notebook is pretty much how I am going to write it. Sorry for any issues this causes. Secondly, thank you all for the reviews and comments and even adding it to favorites. It really does mean a lot to me. You will get a more personal thank you when this is over I assure you.

* * *

"You ready to do this Mariska?" Gregory Helms asked. He had agreed to be the one to walk her down the aisle of the house today as both of her parents were against the wedding from the start.

In fact they had been against her wedding to Jeff as well. They especially hadn't liked the fact that she had gotten pregnant out of wedlock. JJ was; and would always remain her bastard son. At least in her fathers eyes. Her mother seemed to be coming around as of late.

It hadn't been enough to make them present at her wedding though. Which was why Gregory was here now and doing the part her father should have been there to do. She was eternally grateful that he had been so agreeable to it.

"More then ready. The question is are you ready to give me away?" She asked with a grin, one that seemed to flow easily on a day where she should be nervous as hell.

"If you were any other woman Mariska, I would say no,but with you as close as we are, practically family, I say yes. It's about damn time too I might add."

It touched her heart, the words that he spoke. They were close, almost like family to each other and there was no one she wanted beside her more then Gregory Helms. It wouldn't have been as happy a day if he had been absent like the rest of her real family. Mariska needed him just as much as she needed JJ.

With the thought of JJ, she felt her heart swell at the sight of him now. Being both a flower boy and a ring bearer, making his way up the aisle way towards his new stepfather. Really the only father he had ever known. He was happy though and knowing how happy he was made the decision she had made to love Matt all those years ago much easier.

They were all benefiting from the love they all shared.

The wedding march began then, a lady from Gil's church providing the organ and her ability to play it. She knew the time had finally come. It was now her time to walk down the aisle, which looked quite long, her best friend by her side, ready to give her away to the only man now that truly loved her. Matt.

As they began the walk, one step at a time, one beat from the organ at a time, she was finally ready to put the past behind her. The last thought she had as she walked up closer to Matt was that her love for Jeff would never truly die, but that it was time to say a final goodbye to him and to it, and all the beauty it had once possessed.

As Gregory handed her off to Matt in their one final act before the pledge to each other before God, she allowed herself to close her eyes for a quick second and whisper the words she had denied for so long but needed to finally say.

"I will always love you. Goodbye Jeff."

* * *


	18. Objectional Return

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Authors Notes:** This chapter is the long awaited one, that everyone wanted to see. I hope you all like it. Thanks so much for all the support guys, for this fiction, unlike my others it means the world to me because this is an original story idea im writing offline :) Much love to all of you.

* * *

He walked through the brush, the cab having dropped him off on the dirt road mere minutes before. It was a long walk, one he obviously hadn't done in a long time because forcing his way through the grass now was making time tired.

There was still no memory of his time here and he felt the knot in his stomach grow tighter at that realization. He had been hoping through the entire ride that some thing; anything; would come back to him. But nothing was and it was making him sad.

How could he have lived here in this house his entire life and not remember one damn thing about it? Or the occupants that had been there with him? His father, an older brother and a mother who was long since dead.

It hit him then, the reality that his mother was indeed gone from him. A memory that until that moment had not come back to him at all. He was indeed remembering now, even if he wasn't going at the speed and level he wanted.

The closer he got to the old country home, the more he began taking in the amount of cars that were parked off to the side of the lawn. Something was happening in the Hardy home today and a large part of him wondered just what that was. Could they be in the middle of a family get together, or was it something more? Some kind of celebration that he wasn't a part of.

His heart sank at what they must be going through all these years, not knowing that he was alive out there somewhere, married and living with someone else's name. Did they even miss him now? With so many years dead and gone? Or were they praying each and every day for his safe return home?

Everything seemed to swirl through his mind as the house came more into view, most all of being, would they even care?

"Well theres no going back now. It's time to meet the family I forgot that I had."

He turned the knob of the door, having knocked and receiving no answer, the warmness of it turning in his hands. He had waited what felt like his entire life for this moment, there would and could be no turning back now. No matter how frightened he might be.

It was show time.

* * *

They stood before the preacher as each of them recited their own personal written vows. Mariska, trying to stop the water works from ruining Ashley's makeup job and Matt doing his best not to cry at all.

"Now with the vows recited, I ask each and every one of you, is there anyone here that objects to these two being joined together in holy matrimony? If so, please speak now or forever hold your peace."

Everyone seemed to look around the room then, as if checking that this union was indeed accepted by everyone that was in attendance. The door slammed then, causing each and every one of the guests, Matt and Mariska included, to dart their gaze away from the ceremony at hand and towards the noise coming from the front door.

It was when the person came into view, out of the shadows and into the light of the dressed up living room that Mariska heart Matt curse under his breath. She turned to look at the man she was set to marry, trying to figure out just why he would be swearing right now of all times.

It was when she followed the direction of his eyes again, and where it had ended up that she realized just why her future husband had sworn at all.

She locked eyes with the man then and all words escaped her. She wanted to close her eyes, blink and make sure this was really happening but was afraid if she did then the mirage would end and it would all come crashing down around her.

It was when he spoke next that she realized no amount of blinking in the world would erase what was taking place now. He really was there. Jeff Hardy was really alive.

"I object."

* * *


	19. From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

**Authors Notes:** Again this is just to say thank you to any and all of you that review this up to this point. I haven't had a chance to check my email yet and I'm typing this pretty much right after the chapter I just uploaded so for those of you that end up reviewing I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Oh and Cheese alert, I am adding music to this chapter and the song is Britney Spears – From The Bottom of my Broken Heart. LOL I did mention cheese didn't I? LOL

* * *

"Jeff?" she choked out, unsure of why all space and time seemed to have slipped away from her. She felt like she was going to be sick standing there in utter shock the way she was. This really couldn't be happening to her on what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. The day when she had finally allowed herself the words to say goodbye to the man now in front of her.

It occurred to her in that moment that she had just been about to marry Matt and Jeff had entered the room and objected to it. Was this real? If he was alive why hadn't he come home to them before now? What did this mean for her marriage?

"Mari..." was all he seemed able to manage as well. For what seemed like forever they just stared at each other, from across a packed living room of guests here for an entirely different reason then Jeff's homecoming. Lost in the moment they were in but yet remembering the past. Just as she got used to the silence the vision of her Rainbow Brite before her, Gil broke through, bringing everyone back to reality.

"My son! My son has come back to me just as I always prayed he would! God has answered my prayers!"

She was about to make a run in his direction but Matt put his hands out to block her. She caught his eye and watched as he mouthed the words she herself knew but couldn't say.

"Wait a minute Mariska, he objected."

A million things seemed to swirl through her mind all at once. Jeff was really alive! But where had he been all this time and why had he waited all these years, until now to come back? Had he done this because he knew about their wedding? Could he really be that cruel?

**From the bottom of my broken heart  
There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know  
You were my first love, you were my true love  
From the first kisses to the very last rose  
From the bottom of my broken heart  
Even though time may find me somebody new  
You were my real love, I never knew love  
'Til there was you  
From the bottom of my broken heart **

"Why now?" she whispered, scanning the room and watching all the shocked faces around her. They had all gathered today to witness a wedding. One she herself had finally allowed herself to have and accept and now it was all up in the air. She couldn't marry Matt now. Not because her feelings had changed, because they hadn't.

She couldn't marry Matt now because he had come back to them. Jeff had come back from the dead.

"He's like the freaking Prodigal Son!" Gregory announced as he came to stand beside her, taking in the commotion around them.

She watched Matt speaking privately with the minister as Gil moved Jeff out of the doorway and into the more empty and quiet kitchen area. She was again about to make a run for it while she had the chance but she locked eyes on her son instead. Everything else seemed to fade away in that moment when their eyes met.

Jeff's return had not only affected her but their son as well. JJ must be more confused then ever now, as Mariska had from day one always been honest and said that Jeff had passed on in the plane crash. She now felt as she looked into her sons eyes like the biggest liar in the world.

Before she had a chance to get to JJ though, Matt stopped her again. There was obviously something he needed to discuss with her and she just wanted it over with so she could run and be with her son. She knew JJ meant more in that moment but was really at a loss as to what to do about any of it. When she couldn't even believe what was happening herself.

"I sent the minister home. I think this qualifies as a good enough reason to postpone the wedding."

She nodded her head, agreeing completely with the judgment call Matt had made. He surely must want to run to Jeff too, as Gil had but was also concerning himself with the other matter at hand.

**From the bottom of my broken heart  
There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know  
You were my first love, you were my true love  
From the first kisses to the very last rose  
From the bottom of my broken heart  
Even though time may find me somebody new  
You were my real love, I never knew love  
'Til there was you  
From the bottom of my broken heart**

They had been mere moments away from being pronounced man and wife and the only person that could have stopped it had done just that. The realization of it was still enough to send shock waves down her spine.

"I need to get JJ out of here. He must be so confused right now."

"I'll get Greg to get you both upstairs to talk while I let the people here know the wedding has been postponed and why." Matt replied.

He knew a lot of things were going to happen that day but if anyone had asked him if he believed Jeff would have come back from the dead he would have said a resounding NO. This was just something that didn't happen in real life. Something he hadn't concerned himself with.

"Postponed?"

Matt looked up at the sound of her voice and the question she had just addressed to him. Of course he had said that because in his heart and soul he knew the wedding would again take place. The way she was asking now though, he wondered if with her old loves return, if she felt the same.

"Yes Mariska, I postponed it until we get to the bottom of all of this. I still plan on making you my wife and JJ my son. There is nothing I want more."

"Never look back," we said  
How was I to know I'd miss you so?

* * *


	20. JJ Hardy

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

* * *

About an hour after saying goodbye to all the guests and sending them on their way, Mariska wearily made her way upstairs to Jeff's old room, the playroom for JJ that Gregory has carried him too when all hell had broken loose downstairs.

She had to talk to him first, alone preferably so that she could answer his questions as best she could. Then the time would come to talk to the very much alive Jeff Hardy, and find out the truth about where he had been all these years.

She stood in the doorway as her son and her best friend played together without so much as a word between them. The way they often had over the years. It melted her heart to see just how good JJ was behaving in a time that was anything but good.

How would JJ take to this news? Like the little champ he was or would he be hurt and distrust her and everything she had said before that point in their relationship? Would her son realize that his father returning from the dead was as much a surprise to her as it was to him?

"Mommy you can come in you know. I don't bite. But wait! Uncle Gregory might."

She laughed at his acknowledgment of her shadow through the room and silently made her way inside as Gregory got to his feet, dusting off his pants before getting to her and bringing her in for a hug.

"Go easy on the little man. He's confused as hell but coping right now. Just tell him what you know and it will be alright."

She hugged him back, murmuring a whispered thank you and waited again before speaking until he was out of the room and JJ and her were alone.

"How are you holding up JJ? I know things got a little crazy down there."

"Crazy like me."

Mariska's heart sank at her sons words. All of the talk about his illness was obviously getting to him and coming full circle. People who assumed children weren't hurt by their words obviously hadn't been paying too much attention when they spoke.

"You aren't crazy JJ. You are just a little different. To be honest with you, I am kind of glad you are."

"Why?" he asked her quietly.

"Everything in my life growing up always had to be a certain way. I swore that if I ever had a baby I wouldn't do the same thing. You have made it easy for me to keep my promise to myself."

He smiled and Mariska couldn't help but smile back. She would be forever thankful for this boy before her now. Forever thankful to the man who sat a few feet away downstairs from them now. There was no better boy in the world she could have had.

"Is my Daddy alive?" JJ asked, breaking Mariska away from her own thoughts and back to the real reason she was up there with him now.

"Yes JJ. Your father is alive. I know how this must look to you right now but I swear to you; I'm as shocked as you are by all of this today."

"I know Mama. I know you didn't lie to me. I'm scared though."

She wrapped her arms around him then, pulling JJ into her arms and rubbing his back, trying to understand what he could be so scared of.

"Why are you scared baby? What about your Daddy being home frightens you?"

It took a moment for him to answer but the moment he did her heart ripped apart just a little further for him.

"I'm scared because Matt won't be my Daddy anymore. He is going to stop loving me for sure now."

* * *


	21. Missing Pieces

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

**Authors Notes:** I appreciate every bit of attention this fiction gets. It means a lot to me and I just wanted to let you know all again just how much. Thank you and I hope I can continue to bring you all along on my little journey.

* * *

The people were gone; the food put away. All that remained of the day that was before them was the flowers that lined the hallway and living room. If there had been a joyous occasion in the house at the moment you would be hard pressed to find it now.

All that remained was the prodigal son and a whole lot of confused and hurt people.

Matt wanted to be happy that his brother was alive; that he hadn't perished in the accident that had claimed so many all those years ago. But he couldn't. Not when it had come at such an imperfect time.

He paced the kitchen,watching Gil and Jeff sitting together at the table, neither one speaking. Just getting the lay of the land. He wanted to yell at them; to scream at them and make his younger brother talk. To tell him just where the hell he had been all these years and why he chosen his own brothers wedding day to make his appearance.

Matt knew it was wrong to feel this way but he just wanted answers.

He hoped Mariska was having an easier time with JJ and all the questions that he might have. He didn't envy her job at the moment but if they didn't talk soon he was going to go and be with the both of them. He needed to make sure JJ knew this new event didn't change anything. JJ was his son, whether it was by blood or not.

"I know how this looks." Jeff said then. Finally saying something for the first time since he had objected to the wedding at the last second.

"It looks like my son survived a horrible plane crash and finally came home where he belongs. Thats what it looks like to me."

"No Dad." Matt said interrupting the both of them. "Thats not what it looks like and you know it." His daddy could believe this was a gift from God but Matt knew better. This was more then that and he damn well wanted an explanation.

"Matthew Moore Hardy! You bite your tongue right now young man!" Gil said, standing his ground as the Hardy patriarch. They had just found Jeff again after years of thinking he was dead. They had to focus on that miracle now and not Matt's wounded ego.

"Sorry Daddy but it's been five years of hell for all of us. I want to be happy that he's back as much as you do but I can't."

Gil looked about to say something more but Jeff did the only thing in that moment he could do and he put his hand up quickly to stop the man, his father from speaking.

"No please don't okay? He's right about all of it. It has been five years and I never once called or got in touch. But if you give me a minute I'd like to tell you why."

"I don't know about you Daddy but I'm all ears." Matt said, trying his best to keep his anger in check. This was after all his brother and no matter what, he was alive. He knew he needed to be more thankful for that. It was just so damn hard to be when his entire world had taken a nosedive since.

Gil just nodded his head in silence. He wanted to be thankful for the gift he had been given in Jeff returning to them the way he had now but he did understand where his elder son was coming from.

"Until about a week ago I was AJ Foster. I was making a home in Atlanta Georgia. I started having dreams, memories I suppose and in one of my dreams I was being referred to as Jeff Hardy. I did some research and found out about the both of you."

Gil was the first to speak once he was sure that Jeff was done. "So until that point you had no memory of what happened to you or your family and friends here?"

Jeff nodded his head, looking from Matt to his father and back again. Looking for signs of understanding. He knew how all of this must sound but there was nothing but truth to all of it. He just had to make them see that.

"That's right. I booked a flight out here knowing that I needed to see you all for myself. I need to remember my life before the accident and part of that is remembering my family. Right now and even before now I always felt like a part of me was missing."

Before anyone could speak up they heard the footsteps on the floor behind them, someone having entered the kitchen at the timing of Jeff's latest confession.

"The piece you were missing was here all along Jeff. The part you're missing is your heart. Your son, Jeff Junior."

* * *


	22. Personal Change

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

* * *

"My son?" Jeff said barely more then a whisper in a room packed with silence. His dreams had been right all along. The baby he had visualized on the ultrasound was very much alive and living here. Along with the woman his heart hadn't been able to forget.

"Yes Jeff. I was pregnant when your plane went down. The baby was born at 37 weeks and he's now almost six years old. I named him after you, just the way we had always planned."

"JJ is alive and I never knew." he choked out, the realization taking hold of him now. Shouldn't he have remembered a baby or least felt a pull on his heart all this time? Didn't people speak of knowing their children were out there in the world even without having met them firsthand?

There were so many things he longed to ask, feelings that were coming to the surface that needed to be addressed and explored. But he had no idea how to go about it, to go about acknowledging any of them. Matt didn't give him a chance either, still obviously troubled by recent events and taking Jeff's words out of context.

"You surely didn't expect someone here to pick up a phone and call you; did you? Jesus Jeff we all thought you were dead until until about an hour ago!"

Mariska looked at Matt, shocked by the way he was speaking to his younger brother. They had gone through their issues in the past but nothing they hadn't been able to work through. They had always been close. Seeing the way Matt was now speaking to him was shocking to her. A side of the man that she had never seen before. A side she didn't like; not one bit.

"Matt can I talk to you for a minute please?" she asked, trying to break him away from an obviously hostile environment. "It's about JJ."

She caught Jeff looking up then, at the sound of his sons name. It was obvious to her that knowing that their son was alive was pulling Jeff in the direction of wanting to know him and to see him.

Matt nodded and followed her out of the kitchen, but not before catching the lingering look that passed between his brother and his girlfriend. The woman who was supposed to have been his wife today.

"What's wrong with JJ?" he asked, keeping his voice low and controlled.

"You need to talk to him Matt. I have done all that I can do now for him."

"What do you mean Mariska? What's wrong with our son?"

The minute the words were out of his mouth, no matter how right they may have sounded; he knew it had been the wrong thing in that moment to say. Her gaze went to the kitchen again, where J J's real father now sat. Something that Matt would never be, no matter how much he loved that boy as his own.

"Jeff coming back has his afraid Matt. He's afraid you won't love him the same way anymore. He is scared you won't want to be his Daddy the way he's always wanted you too. The way we have both always seen you."

"That's not true."

"I know that Matt. But he needs to hear that from you. He knows that I am not lying to him but he needs to know this return by Jeff won't change anything between the two of you. That is something I cannot tell him for certain."

Matt was disturbed by the last comment. He knew that nothing would ever change his feelings for JJ. He also knew that he would have no trouble telling the boy that and making him believe it. He just wished it was going to be that easy to convince Mariska. He had his brother back and it made him happy but at the end of the day his concern still lay with the woman he loved and their son.

For he was Matt's son. They might now share the same blood ties but in every way that counted Matt was very much the boy's Daddy. He had been there when JJ walked for the first time, talked and rode his first bike. He had helped Mariska in raising him every step of the way. It was a bond that Jeff couldn't begin to break, paternal father or not.

"Where is he now?" Matt asked, putting his thoughts and worries on the back burner.

"Playroom. Gregory is in there with him again. I didn't want to leave him alone, given the circumstances."

Matt nodded and placed a small kiss on Mariska's forehead before turning and heading up the stairs. He hadn't wanted to leave Jeff alone with Mariska right now but at the moment they were in, it couldn't be helped. JJ and his issues had to come first.

* * *


	23. Answers

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

**Authors Notes:** I appreciate all of the attention this story continues to get no matter what the subject matter. You all know why that is. Thank you so much for the reviews and the support. You guys are the best reviewers around.

* * *

With Matt securely upstairs with JJ; Mariska knew the time had come for her to finally have a few private moments alone with Jeff.

"I'm going to go and start cleaning up the living room Mariska, if you need me, just holler." Gil said, silently making his way out of the kitchen and out to the daunting task at hand. When he was safely out of earshot Jeff chose to speak.

"You and Matt were about to be married when I came home?"

"Yes Jeff."

He was silent again then as if processing the information that he had been told. If Mariska was trying to figure out just what was going through his mind at that moment, she wasn't able to get any clear answers. He seemed to be completely shut off to her now.

"Why did you object to it Jeff?"

She hadn't wanted to bring this up now; feeling it wasn't the right time but she knew she would never know when a good time would be. It really was now or never.

"I don't know. When I got here I didn't remember anything but when I saw Matt standing there I knew I had to stop it. It just didn't seem right to me."

She was thankful for his honesty. While some people might assume he was giving her what she wanted to hear, Mariska knew differently. While he might not remember a thing about who they all were; he was still very much the same man he had been five years ago.

"What happened to you Jeff? Why did you wait five years to come home?"

She studied him as he seemed prepared to answer, finding the right words to make her understand. His face still the same but more adult then it had been before remained completely calm. If he was bothered by her questions now; he didn't show it.

"I don't remember the plane crash itself. How it happened will be something I will never remember, but what happened after the fact is burned into my mind." Jeff stopped then, making sure she was following along. "I woke up before it blew and all I remember is the smell of fuel and the rising flames. I was mere minutes away from being burned and I fought quick enough to save myself. People that were on the flight were lying dead around me. I knew I couldn't end up like one of them."

"My God!" she exclaimed, exhaling deeply as she watched him ready himself to speak yet again.

"I was lucky. I got out and away before it exploded and all I had to show for it was a few singed hairs. The rescue crew got there pretty quickly and after a few weeks in the hospital, where they ran every test imaginable, I was able to leave. I just couldn't remember any part of my life before the accident."

Mariska understood what he had done through now; each and every moment of it. He hadn't been staying away on purpose, he just hadn't remembered that he had them at all to come back too.

"I was known as AJ Foster and until about a week or two ago that is how I remained. I'm not used to being known as Jeff Hardy, but I'm getting there."

She sat down at the table then and placed her hand across the table until it rested comfortably on top of his. What he must have gone through was too much to mentally bear and she would never wish it on another soul anywhere, as long as she lived. This man had truly walked through fire and come out better for it.

She was pulled from her thoughts then as she felt a flicker of movement where her hand had been resting mere seconds before. He pulled his hand away then, a guilty look covering his entire face. Something about being this way with her was too much for him and as he spoke again she understood why.

"Mari; I'm not the same man I was when I left all those years ago. I can't be what you want me to be anymore because Mariska; I'm married."

* * *


	24. Matt and JJ

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

**Authors Note:** This will a short chapter and when I say that, I realize all of the chapters are not long. But this is one that will barely make a page so it won't be half as long as the others. It is a chapter that needs to stand on its own.

* * *

"A little bird told me that you were a little worried." Matt said from the doorway, watching his son playing with his long time friend Gregory Helms. He had been watching for some time now but hadn't wanted to intrude on the moment. It looked too sweet to see JJ this happy.

"Mommy told you." was all JJ replied, finally putting the cars away and looking up towards the only man he had ever known as his father.

"Yeah she did buddy but I think you knew she would. So why don't you tell me what's bothering you? Maybe I can help you out a little where your Mommy couldn't."

Gregory took that moment to again take his leave of the room, this time knowing he wouldn't be needed anymore that day. He said his goodbyes to both JJ and Matt and silently slipped out of the room, giving them privacy.

"Why now? Why did my real daddy have to come back now?"

"Well JJ; your dad didn't have much of a choice from what he has told us. He was in a plane crash and until now he didn't know who he was, or who any of us were."

That answer, as hard as it was for Matt to say was truthful and it seemed to placate the little guy now. Matt still didn't know all of the answers but he felt compelled to give the son he loved so much as his own all that he did know.

"Will he want to be a family with Mommy and me now? For keeps this time?"

Matt had been waiting for this question, had expected it to come. But really he didn't have an answer for JJ. He really didn't have a clue at this point what his brother was going to do. Would he really want to take his place in Mariska and J J's life again? The way he had been in the past?

He noticed JJ starting to fidget and knew he was starting to lose his concentration. Something that was more common then ever lately. He was becoming enthralled with the shiny toys in front of him. Matt knew he had to make this quick or JJ would lose interest all together.

"No JJ, he won't because he knows things are different now. He knows how much I love your Mom and I don't think he would want to change that. Better yet; I won't let him."

This seemed to cheer young JJ up because his eyes seemed to sparkle then. What Mariska had said had been right when she had mentioned what J J's fears were. He had indeed been worried about changes taking place. Something that at his age, and with his issues, he couldn't handle.

"JJ, you don't need to worry about any of this. I know Jeff coming home is confusing for you, it is for all of us, but all you need to worry about right now is being a kid. All of this other stuff is for the adults to work out between us. And we will do just that. I promise you."

Before Matt could even finish what he wanted to say JJ cut in on him. His eyes saddened again.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes JJ! I love you like you're my own son. I always have and I always will. None of that will ever change."

JJ sat silently, Matt figuring he was taking it all in. He watched as a small content smile started to form on the little guys face. He had obviously got the answer he had been waiting for.

"JJ another thing you need not worry about. You never have to stop calling me Daddy. If anything I don't want you to stop because its the best feeling in the world when you do. Being your dad all of these years has made me the happiest man in the world."

* * *


	25. Rectify

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

* * *

Married? Had she just heard him right? She would have assumed that in the past five years he would have at the very least dated; not knowing who he was and all, but marriage?

Which also made her wonder just why he had objected to her own marriage to his brother. If he had married some other woman then just what was going on with him now? Why object when there is no real reason too?

"You're married." She stated calmly, still trying to wrap her mind around it and come to terms with what he had just thrown on her.

"Yes Mariska; I'm married. I have been married for almost five years now."

Five years? Wouldn't that mean that he'd gotten married only a few short months after the accident that they had all believed had killed him? Wasn't that a little too quickly?

"Congratulations then." Was all she could reply even though her mind was racing with questions.

"You don't need to say that when you aren't really thinking it Mari. I know it sounds weird, marrying so quickly but I don't think I have been very much of a planner. That much has stayed with me all this time."

"That's true. You never planned out anything in your life." She laughed a little despite the hurt she was obviously feeling inside. "It was part of your charm really."

He smiled along with her then, happy that all hidden truths had finally been confessed. He may not have told his own wife the truth but he was glad that with Mariska he had done just that. He may not remember their time together but he did remember the love they shared. It had always been fresh and truthful. It was something he did not want to change now.

"Can I be honest with you about something?"

Jeff smiled again and nodded in acceptance. He may not know his real place within the family at the moment but he knew he wanted to keep this honesty flowing.

"I always held out this hope that you were alive out there somewhere and that one day you'd come home. Come home to me and to JJ. I'm glad was right on at least one part of it. I am glad my faith didn't let me down."

"Me too Mariska." he stopped for a moment to find the right words. " I'm glad you never gave up hope. I'm just sorry that it couldn't happen sooner."

She knew what he was getting at, without saying the actual words and she appreciated it a great deal. He was letting her know that he was sorry he hadn't come home to her in time to see his son, Jeff Junior enter the world.

"You're here now, thats all that matters."

She thought of her son; with Matt upstairs and realized that the time had finally come for the next step to be taken in this new return.

"Would you like to meet your son Jeff? Would you like to finally see and talk to JJ?"

"I'd like nothing more Mariska."

She smiled and motioned for the stairs. "Well then lets get out of this room and go do just that. It's been far too long. It's about time we rectified that."

* * *


	26. JJ I am Your Father

**Disclaimer:** All mention of the WWE and it's Superstars is purely for entertainment value only. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Five years after a plane crash leaves Jeff Hardy presumed dead, his fiancée is ready to move on, to a new life with her autistic son. But what happens when her life is turned upside down with a blast from her not so distant past and she is forced to reevaluate everything she thought she knew?

**Authors Note:** After some trial and error off line with the writing of this story, here is the next chapter. More to come again soon. Thank you for any and all attention this has gotten it means a lot to me.

* * *

"See if you push this little black button; the sword lights up and you can slice the bad guy in half! No one gets away when this guy is on their tail."

Matt just nodded and laughed softly to himself. He had no idea what the appeal was with these toys but JJ seemed to adore them so try to understand he did.

Before he got a chance to do anything further they both turned at the sound of the knock. The feeling Matt had been feeling took a nosedive then, knowing it wasn't his father or friend on the other side but his newly returned brother Jeff.

"Can we interrupt for a minute?" Mariska asked as she poked her head in around the door. She knew how hard this was going to be for everyone so she wanted to start it out light.

"Aw Mommy again?" JJ moaned, keeping the coy smile plastered on his face. Always the joker Mariska couldn't help but laugh.

"Matt can stay if you want JJ and you can both play again later. There is just someone that I want you to meet. It's important."

J J's face seemed to turn sour then as he realized what was going on. He was going to have to meet his father. Or at least the man everyone said was his father. Not that he believed them anyway. He only knew one man as his father and that was Matt.

"Sure Mommy." was all he could manage knowing who would now come through the door.

Before Jeff could step into the room though, Matt chose to speak up and voice his opinion again.

"Is this really the right time Mariska? I mean this day has been hard enough for JJ already. Why add more to that?"

Mariska knew what Matt was trying to do; what he was actually worried about but now was not the time to deal with it. Right now all that mattered was giving JJ the chance to meet Jeff and Jeff getting the same chance. After all of the years of not knowing who he was and who his family was, it was the only thing that seemed right to her. Matt was just going to have to deal with it.

"It's the right time Matt. It cannot really wait another day. It has been far too long already don't you think?" she whispered, not wanting young JJ to hear any more of the adult conversation then he already had. She did not want to make this any tougher then it already was.

"Whatever! I'll be downstairs then." Matt said pushing his way slowly past her in the doorway until he came face to face with his brother. There was so much he needed to say to him, was dying to say but it was going to have to wait.

"Don't do it like this Matt. He may be my son by blood but he is your son here." Jeff said, pointing to where his heart was located. He knew what Matt was feeling in that moment and he wanted to do this the right way. Matt belonged in that room just as much as Jeff himself. There was no other way for it to go down.

"He's right Matt. Stay." Mariska said as she took Matt by the hand and led him back into the room where JJ awaited them. They had to present a united front right now or the ramifications for JJ would be dire.

As Matt walked in he did the only thing that in the moment he wanted to do and he got down on his knees beside the boy he thought of as his own son. "JJ, I want you to met your father. The only brother I have ever known and loved. JJ meet Jeff Hardy."

As Jeff stepped into the room J J's eyes were locked on him, not moving off of him for a second. As Jeff took in the sight before him he instantly saw what Mariska and Matt had been able to see all of these years and immediately felt their pain.

JJ looked just like him.

As he knelt down beside his brother and across from the little boy that was now his son, he said the only thing he had been dying to say since he had the dreams all those weeks ago. The only thing they he truly felt in his heart.

"Hello JJ. I've missed you."

* * *


	27. Out of The Mouths Of Babes

"If you are dead then how can you be here right now?"

Mariska sucked her breath in deeply; causing all three men in the room to look at her. Blushing slightly; not realizing it would make quite the stir that it had, she finally found her way over to JJ's bed, where she finally chose to sit.

After Mariska's outburst, Jeff waited a few seconds before speaking again and answering JJ's question.

"I never really died JJ. It just felt like I did for a very long time."

JJ raised his eyes in response to Jeff's answer and immediately shot out the next question. "Why didn't you call us then? Why wait all of this time?"

Mariska was shocked by how serious JJ's questions seemed to be. For such a young little boy he grasped this more then most adults would. More then she herself had to be truthful. She only hoped that Jeff had the right answers for him now.

"I lost my long term memory JJ." Jeff said, laying it on the line as truthfully as he possibly could given the seriousness of the moment he was now faced with. "So for a very long time I didn't know who I really was, let alone know who all of you were."

JJ just nodded but Mariska watched in wonder as he looked away from both of the Hardy brothers and began to start scratching himself all up and down his arms. She recognized it immediately because the doctor had mentioned before that this was a common trait with a lot of autistic children. They had trouble relating socially, especially JJ and this was a sure sign of that at its best.

She decided that as much as she wanted JJ to get to know Jeff again, it was indeed becoming too much for the little man and it had to be stopped.

"Jeff I think JJ has had enough for one day. So why don't we head downstairs and grab something to eat and let Mari here help JJ."

As Mariska stood she was struck by the strongest emotion. Matt had noticed JJ's reaction as well and was doing the right thing by him. He really did love that boy like his own. No wonder he was so angry at the moment. He was scared just as JJ was about losing his place.

"That sounds great." She agreed, but still letting Jeff know by a slight touch on his shoulder that it had nothing to do with him and it was all about JJ.

He silently nodded and stood to his feet, following Matt to where he stood in the doorway.

Jeff looked back one more time, all the while staying completely silent, watching as Mariska wrapped her arms around her son. Wrapped her arms around the son he had never really known he had until a few short hours ago.

As he made his way out the doorway and down the stairs, following behind his brother, he couldn't help wondering that now that he had a son, would he ever really know him or if they would all fade away again the way they had all those years ago.


	28. To The Bottom Of It

Matt watched his brother as he moved around the kitchen area; genuinely confused as to where the most basic of household items was located. A glass so that he could enjoy a small drink. If Matt didn't know any better he might actually believe his brothers claims of long term amnesia.

He knew that to the outside world it would look like he was being too hard on his brother. The brother that only yesterday had been dead to him. Everyone's perception would be totally wrong though.

Matt was more then happy to have Jeff back within the family again; he was just having a hard time digesting that it had happened on the best day of his life. The day that he was set to marry Mariska finally, after a long period of wanting her. It also bothered him to no end that Jeff had objected to the marriage.

If he really didn't remember Mariska and the one true bond they shared in Jeff Junior then what did he care if Matt married her? Surely he wanted the mother of his child to be happy right?

He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard Jeff clear his throat. As Matt looked up and caught sight of the look in his younger brothers eyes he instantly felt even more guilty then he had before. The least he could do was show his true happiness at Jeff coming back to them in one piece.

"I'm sorry that I came home at such a bad time bro. I really didn't know there was gonna be a wedding today of all days."

Matt knew instantly that Jeff was being completely sincere, yet he couldn't shake the thought and feeling that as sincere as Jeff was, there was still more underneath it all.

"It's fine Jeff; really it is. I can just choose another day later in the week and do it all over again. This time for keeps. There is something I need to know though."

Jeff met Matt's gaze and didn't break away for a second. "What do you need to know?"

"For starters; why did you object to us being married at all? I understand that you coming home is more important then the actual wedding ceremony but we could have just stopped the ceremony ourselves when we say you standing there. Why did you object to Mariska marrying me?"

Jeff had no other choice but break away from the gaze then, knowing deep down this was the one question he couldn't answer. Even when he asked it of himself. Jeff also knew that telling Matt that answer would just have him mistrusting him more; not make his worry subside.

"To be honest; I don't really know why I stopped the wedding Matt. All I know is that the minute I saw her in that gown, marrying you and not me; the way it had been in my dreams, something inside of me went off."

"You remembered her." Was all Matt could muster as his brother spoke. Damn. He didn't like forcing his brother to answer all of these questions but he also knew that there was no one else that could answer them.

"Yeah Matt I did, but it doesn't change anything. I still do not remember my life with her completely. Even if I did there is no way I could go back."

Matt was confused by Jeff's statement and it must have shown on his face because Jeff didn't wait for him to ask, he just spoke again.

"I am married Matt. I have been married for a long time now. So you see, I don't really know why I objected. Only that I did and I cannot go back and change it."

"You're married." Matt said, more in the way of a statement then a question. When Matt had been upset about Jeff interrupting their lives again he had never for a second thought Jeff had moved on this way in his own life. This opened up a whole new can of worms.

"Does Mariska know?"

Jeff only nodded, turning away then to suck down the glass of water he had taken so long to get himself. "So you see Matt, I didn't come back here to change anyone's life. Just my own. I needed to find the family that I had left behind all those years ago after the crash and I needed the chance to make things right again."

Not wanting to let the conversation die now that it had finally really begun, Matt thought of one more question that he had now for his brother.

"Does your wife know about us? About Mariska; the relationship the two of you shared and JJ?"

Jeff hung his head down low, depressed at the mere thought of the truth he had hidden from his very loving wife. " No Matt she doesn't and I am afraid that the minute she finds out, especially that I held it from her, our marriage might be as good as over."


	29. Worrisome

She put the last dish away in the cupboard and finally put the dish towel away. Wiping the sweat from her brow she allowed herself the chance to sit and take a breather.

She was worried; there was no denying it anymore. No matter how many tasks she gave herself, she couldn't stop the fear that was flowing through her veins.

Three days. Three long and painful days. That had been how long it had been since she heard word from her husband AJ; or rather Jeff. He had gone to Carolina three days before and there had been not one single word.

Just what could be going on there and why hadn't he called her? Even if it was just to tell her that he had arrived there safe and sound. Hence all the worry now. She would have called his cell phone but he hated them and he never had his turned on.

Jeff had told her years before that if someone really wanted to speak to him then they could do the rational thing and just search him out the traditional way.

Beth had never understood it then and she surely didn't understand it now. How was she supposed to search him out when she didn't know a damn thing about the man she had married all those years ago?

After the way they had met, the accident that had brought them together, she would hope that he would want to stay in contact with her. Not push himself further away. Didn't he realize that at a time like this, he needed her?

"He needs to do this on his own." She said to the air around her, trying to talk herself into believing it, when deep down, she didn't believe one word of it. When you married someone, you went through the hardships together, not alone. All she knew for sure was that if it was her this was happening too, she would want Jeff by her side the entire time. Not a million miles away in another state.

"Of all the times to push me away, why did you have to choose now?" she asked the air again, wishing her husband was there to ask himself.

Just what the hell was going on in North Carolina and was the man she loved even aware of the pain that he was putting her through?


	30. Next Day At Hardy House

Mariska rolled over in bed as the alarm clock sounded off; invading her dreams and bringing her awake to the sight of bright sunshine entering the room and the sound and the feel of her own beating heart pounding away.

It was a new day; a day where she should have awoken beside the man of her dreams, the man who should be her husband. She should have been waking up next to Matt but instead here she was waking up all alone.

It all came flooding back to her in an instant. The wedding, the vows and the impending happiness. Then Jeff's return from the dead, the look of horror on every ones faces and then the realization that he was alive, was definitely okay and most of all that he was already married. It might seem like too much to handle for the average person; but it was not to her. That day was major in comparison to others but it wasn't enough to make her stop and lay down and die.

Because today was no longer about her and what might be her day, it was about Matt, JJ and the newly returned Jeff Hardy.

She heard laughter and a commotion coming from the room next door to hers and immediately knew that the day had started without her. JJ's voice was clear, his laughter like a magnet pulling her to it. Slipping from the bed slowly, she got into her robe; a present for Mothers Day from Matt years ago and slipped from her room and into the hallway.

Following along with the melodic sound of her son, who she assumed was playing so crazy like with Matt, as they often did, made her way down the hallway to the doorway to JJ's room.

As she entered the room though, what she expected to see was not how it presented itself. For it wasn't Matt who was awake at 8 AM and playing with their son. No; on this fine morning, the first of many to come now that the prodigal son had returned home, it was Jeff who was helping raise JJ's excitement levels.

"Uh Oh!" JJ said as he saw Mariska enter the room all the way. "She's really going to give it to us now!"

Jeff looked at the boy and then towards Mariska, unsure of how to react in a situation such as this, one he had never encountered before. Not wasting a moment though, he plastered a smile on his face and pouted out his lips.

"Sorry Mama!"

Mariska; recognizing the look as one she had seen numerous times before in their past together, felt like laughing out loud at the sight of it. She wasn't at all mad before, as JJ had predicted she would be, but now, seeing Jeff pouting like a small child in trouble, there really was no way she could even think to be.

"You guys didn't wake me up. The alarm did as usual. But it does seem like the two of you are getting along great and having a lot of fun."

She looked from Jeff to JJ, all the while wondering where Matt was at this hour and how long these two had been like this before she had come in. Before she had the chance to ask though, JJ answered for her.

"Daddy had to fly out for a show and I had a bad dream so Jeff came in and stayed with me until it went away. We didn't want to wake you up. Isn't that great?"

Her son was excited this Mariska could tell, from the rise in his cheeks and his dead giveaway smile. If her baby boy was okay having Jeff handle him just less then twenty four hours after meeting him for the first time ever, who was she to argue.

This had been a dream of hers from the beginning when they had found out that she was pregnant.

"That's great JJ. That's just fine. Did your Dad leave me a note or message at all?"

JJ shrugged, not sure how to answer the question because didn't know the answer. Mariska smiled lightly, assuring her son that it was okay that he didn't know and turned to the only other adult in the room, Jeff, for answers.

But when the older mans face changed from a smile and a pout to something more serious, she didn't have to hear the words verbalized to know the answer to them. She just knew.

Matt had gone out of town without so much as one word to her, twenty four hours after their botched wedding. Something he just never did and had never done in their five years together.

Rather then analyze it to death there in front of her son and Jeff, she turned her thoughts to the first item that she always did on the regular days of her life. Breakfast.

"Who wants bacon and eggs for breakfast?"


	31. Checkmate

Matt stood outside the door, hands balled up together in nervousness. He had known he had to do this all day since the wedding had been interrupted; but standing here now he wondered if in the long run this was really the best idea for him and his family.

Before he had a chance to back out and just go home where he belonged, the front door opened and a raven haired woman came out onto the porch, never once taking her eyes off of him. From the look on her face he could tell she was NOT happy for the interruption.

"Can I help you?" she asked, her eyes checking him out from head to toe like he was some kind of monster and she had to rid herself of him.

"I'm sorry. I think I made a mistake. I believe I am in the wrong place."

Matt was about to turn and leave when the woman Jeff explained to be Beth reached out and put a hand on his arm.

"You look like him." was all she said and instantly he knew that she was familiar enough with Jeff to know just who he was. What she didn't know was why he was there in the first place.

"My name is Matt Hardy. You must be Bethany, Jeff's wife."

"You'd be right. What are you doing here? Jeff let me know this morning by phone that he had connected with you. So why is he there, and you are here?"

With her eyes still on him, questioning every word out of his mouth, he knew he had made a terrible mistake coming here. Did he hate his brother so much that he had to get his wife involved? Was he that insecure about Mariska's love for him?

He hadn't expected that Jeff would have called home so soon after admitting the fear he had about not telling his wife everything. But he had and now Matt just felt stuck.

"Is he okay? Are you here because something happened to him after he talked to me?" Beth asked, obviously worried because her eyes seemed to soften.

"He's fine Beth. Jeff is fine." Matt said feeling even more like a heel for worrying her. "Like I said, I think I made a mistake coming here. I won't keep you."

He started to walk away then until he heard her calling after him and something within him made him stop. She managed to catch up to him and as she cut a little bit ahead she stopped and faced him.

"This is about Mariska isn't it? You came back here so you could tell me."

Matt was stunned. Just how in the hell did she know about Mariska? Had Jeff really told her everything? Before he had the chance to ask though, Beth saved him the trouble and answered everything.

"The Internet is a wonderful invention don't you think? I came across your blog after Jeff called and imagine my surprise when I learned that you were marrying Jeff's ex. And also adopting Jeff's own son no less."

"I'm sorry Bethany. Jeff just found out himself. He should have told you."

"Yeah he should have. Wasn't the best way to learn about your husbands real family. But I know now and I also know why you of all people showed up on my doorstep."

"And what do you think my being here is about?" Matt shot back quickly.

Beth looked him dead in the eye and right before she uttered the words; a small grimace came across her features.

"You're afraid. You are scared that now that your brother has come back, everything that you and Mariska share is going to drain away. That Jeff and her will pick up where they left off. Without you."


	32. Deja Vu

Mariska banged the pot down on the stove top waiting for the oil to start boiling so she could begin the eggs, all the while trying forget that Matt had gone off to parts unknown without so much as a goodbye to her. She was so lost in thought that she didn't hear Jeff and JJ come down and enter the kitchen.

"She's mad about Daddy Matt." JJ said to Jeff as they stood near the kitchen door watching Mariska carrying on with the pots and frying pan.

Jeff smiled at the little guy before him. His son. It didn't take the most perceptive person in the world to see that JJ was right about what his mother was going through before their very eyes.

"Does your dad do this a lot JJ? Go out of town without telling her mom?" Jeff asked, wondering if this was a daily problem in the Hardy home. Having not been there for a long time, he didn't have a clue but he knew that he hoped it wasn't. That wasn't much of an environment for JJ, or for that matter Mariska and Matt either.

"Never. Daddy Matt always tells Mommy where he is going."

Jeff sighed not sure where to go with this now. If Matt never did this then something seriously wrong was going on right under his nose. From the small amount of memory he had about his brother, he knew Matt wasn't the type of guy to just cut and run.

There had to be something bigger going on here. He just wished he was more useful so he could figure out what that was and put an end to it. His return shouldn't have made everyone fall apart this way. It should make them band together as family should. He didn't know much, but he did know that to be true.

"I'm gonna help your mama. Why don't you sit down and we'll get your breakfast going real quick."

JJ smiled and did as he was told, making Jeff feel thankful that his son had been raised with good listening skills and manners. Feeling that JJ was fine on his own, he made his way over to the stove where Mariska was still banging and clanging the pot around.

Creeping up behind her, he did the first thing that came to him naturally and put his hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her and let her know that she wasn't alone.

"Mind if I help with breakfast?" he asked lightly, feeling the rise and fall of her breathing running through his fingers as she slowly stopped acting so tense.

What Jeff didn't expect was that she would turn around at that exact moment. When she did, she turned right into his face, only mere seconds away from a compromising position. She looked up at him, her eyes warm and soft, but steeling with the thoughts of Matt still coursing through her. As he looked back he was suddenly overcome with just how comfortable this was. Like he had been here before. Deja Vu.

But before he could act on the impulse to fall into her eyes and kiss her, she broke the look and the silence.

"I'd love that. I need to get JJ's school stuff together." She brushed past him as she said the words and Jeff felt that just having her brushing lightly against him and his skin was enough to send shivers down his spine.

Why was he feeling this way now? Why was he remembering the way her body felt against his? Why couldn't he get the desire to kiss her right here in this kitchen out of his head when he knew he was a married man and she was OBVIOUSLY in love with his brother?

His only thought as she walked away and into the other room with a small kiss to JJ was that he hoped Matt made his way home soon because the memories were coming back more and more each minute. And he felt powerless to stop what might happen when they did.


	33. Disconcerting Visions

* * *

"I know Mariska and I know she loves me. So you are wrong. I am not afraid."

Beth, who had invited Matt into their home, running to the kitchen to make a warm cup of tea for them both, rolled her eyes. Just from spending a short time with Jeff's brother she knew he was very smart. But when it came to this issue, he surely didn't have a clue. Who was he trying to kid?

As she entered the living room area, placing the two cups down gingerly, avoiding the sloshing of the liquid inside, she spoke again.

"I do not doubt for a second that you love her and that the two of you have a solid relationship but if you didn't have a little fear, you wouldn't be here right now. You would be with her where you belong."

"I told you. I don't really know why I came here. I just did. There really is nothing more to it."

Beth knew he would never admit it, it was enough just knowing that she knew and understood. But with him here now, the way he was; it worried her about what was happening in Carolina as they sat here talking.

"Then go home. Go home and tell Jeff to come home to me here and then go ahead and get married the way you want too. But I think you and I both know that its not that easy now. They loved each other once. They also share a child together. It is not cut and dry anymore the way it should be. It is now complicated."

Matt knew she was right. He also knew that he was afraid. But more then that, he was scared that with the reappearance of Jeff after all of these years, what Matt and Mariska shared would all be for nothing. Which is why he was here now. He couldn't let that happen.

"You talk about me being afraid Beth but you found out your husband had a fiancée and a baby over the Internet only hours before I got here. That's got to be hurting the hell out of you."

Beth looked at him, catching the serious tone on his face, the sympathetic tone he was giving.

"That's right, I am scared. For the past five years we have believed he was AJ Foster. We had a perfect life, minus the part of us having a child together, which we were going to work on. Having him turn into Jeff Hardy with this high flying career and a ready made family that I am not a part of; well its disconcerting."

Matt knew that right now, he should be home the way Beth has told him to be, enjoying his wife and getting ready to bring JJ on the road with him while he followed the same dream he had since he had been a young child.

He also knew that Beth had plans as well, ones that she needed the time and chance to follow through with Jeff by her side. It seemed off that both couples were separated and he only hoped that in his absence, that everything was going smoothly at home.

Better yet he hoped that for the sake of the ready made family Beth had spoken of, that Jeff kept his distance and his memories away from the woman Matt now loved as his own. Otherwise all hell was surely going to break loose.

* * *


	34. Three Little Words

Having taken JJ to his new half day school program Mariska pulled back into the driveway, this time to her own house and turned off the car ignition giving herself some much needed quiet time. It was the first time since her botched wedding to Matt and Jeff's return that she actually had some alone time. So much had happened in the past few days and it was a wonder she hadn't lost her mind. Or worse.

What bothered Mariska the most was the fact that Matt was gone when she needed him the most. When things were so unsure in all of their lives, especially JJ's; she needed him. But the million dollar question that was on her mind was where the hell was he?

"Matt I just wish you called and told me you were alright. I can't deal with Jeff and the past we share without you by my side."

When no answer came, not that she expected one, talking to herself in the car; she sucked up her worries and pride and finally decided to head into the house. The house she hadn't been at since the day of the wedding.

As she made her way over the freshly cut grass, to the home she had been sharing with Matt for some time now the door opened and Jeff seemed to rush out at her like a freight train, full speed ahead.

"Jeff; what are you doing in my house?" she asked, stunned that he had the nerve to enter her home. The only home she had ever lived in where she felt completely at peace.

"I came over to see if you needed anything. The door was unlocked, so I stayed here until you came home. I know this is pretty secluded land and all but where I come from, you don't take any chances. "

_But this IS where you are from. _She thought. Instead of saying that, knowing how catty saying something like that would be, she went with something simpler.

"Thank you. Now if you don't mind, I need to take a shower and really get a start on my day."

She was about to walk past Jeff when he reached out lazily and stopped her from going any further. When she looked at him, begging him with her eyes to let her go; he immediately did so. But he did not allow her to get the chance to run.

"WHAT JEFF? What do you want from me?" She yelled, trying to get past him and having no luck.

Jeff watched her, the look of anger and almost fear in her eyes as she spoke and he felt like a heel. He couldn't begin to explain why he was acting this way. He only knew the past was pulling at him to do it.

"Why didn't you tell me about JJ?"

"Tell you what about him?" Mariska shot back, trying to regain her strength.

"My Daddy, he told me that JJ has some medical problems. Why didn't you tell me? Don't I deserve to hear it from the mother of my son and not my own father?"

The pain was evident on his face but so was the pain in Mariska's soul at having to deal with JJ on her own for so long, until Matt had stepped in. So she couldn't allow herself to be completely sympathetic.

"When did you want me to tell you Jeff? When you were supposedly dead? Or when I was pregnant and didn't have a clue? JJ is my son too and for his entire life, I have been the one taking him to the Doctors. Not you."

She knew she sounded cold and unfeeling but Jeff demanding to know about his son, after being away for so long, well it upset her to her very core.

"He is not sick Jeff. He is just Autistic. JJ is still my little boy and this issue doesn't change that. This is just a setback. One that I am dealing with fine. He does not have PROBLEMS."

Finished talking, Mariska inhaled and exhaled her breath sharply, trying to calm her shattered nerves while waiting for Jeff to say something.

"If I could have been here in the last six years Mari, for you and for JJ, I would have. But Jeff Hardy for that entire time after the crash was dead and buried. I was AJ Foster. I wish I could try and fix this but I really do not know how. All I know is that I want to be able to know everything I need to know, well now."

Jeff was right and she knew it. He was telling her the truth. There was a time years earlier when they were dating and in love, that he explained his view on the people that he cared about and what he would do to help them. He had said he would climb mountains at the drop of a hat and swim in oceans and lakes if it meant getting help for anyone that he cared about. He was in different words, saying that same thing now and she was thankful that one thing with him had remained the same. Even when the rest of him seemed so different.

"You can fix it Jeff but just taking your time with him. He needs to know you, I know he does but it is going to take some time, Autism or not. Now if you'll excuse me, I really do need to get inside this time."

This time as she walked away, Jeff did not reach out and try to stop her. The further away that she got from him though, the more he realized he didn't want her leaving this way. It felt as if he was losing a part of himself all over again and was powerless to stop it.

As she walked into the house and finally shut the door behind her, he finally let the words out that had been on his heart and mind the entire time she stood with him.

"I love you."


	35. A Step Back In Time

As she took a seat in her lazy chair the cup of tea trembling in her hand, Mariska tried to calm her nerves. When she had left the elder Hardy home earlier that morning to take JJ to school, all she could focus on was getting back home to her own house and trying to make some sense of the confusion of her life.

Mariska did not enjoy the fact that Matt had taken off. In fact she was downright upset about it but she also knew that given what was now happening; they both needed time alone to sort their own emotions out.

As she sat in her chair letting it rock back and forth slowly as she sipped her tea, she was reminded of the past and the one other time that Matt had taken off during an emotional moment between their family.

_**Flashback**_

_The news was ready to burst out of her. As she placed a quick look in Jeff's direction she wondered if he was feeling the same way as she was. Sure, they hadn't planned on getting pregnant at this point in their lives but knowing how attached Jeff had become in the past few weeks, especially at the ultrasound they had just come from, she was sure he was happy. There was no hiding the fact that she was happy though. She was about to burst at the seams because of it._

_Now all they had to do was go back home to the Hardy compound, where they were both staying until their house was finished, and share the big news with Gil and Matt. _

"_How do you think your father and brother are going to react?" Mariska asked, breaking the long silence that had been surrounding them._

"_They are going to be excited. They love you, and the idea of the two of us together. Why do you ask?"_

"_I just know that this wasn't planned and that there is so much you and Matt want to do in the ring still. Hearing that we're having a baby, much less another male Hardy, it might upset the dynamic of your family."_

_Jeff stopped walking and wrapped his arms around her, stopping her in mid walk. Pushing her chin up gently so he could look in her eyes, he smiled when she did. _

"_They love you Mari, but more then that I love you and at the end of the day thats what really matters. I KNOW that my family is going to be over the moon about this baby but I understand that you don't feel and know the same way that I do. You're just going to have to trust me."_

_Mariska nodded her head and allowed the small kiss that Jeff had bent down to give her. As soon as the kiss ended, she put her worries about his families reaction out of her mind, knowing that whatever happened, Jeff would be by her side the entire time. No matter what the reaction._

_That was until she was face to face with Gilbert and Matt. Then her worst fears seemed to come back bubbling to the surface in full force warning her again._

"_Daddy; Matt; we have some really important news we need to talk to you about." Jeff said after sharing a round of hugs with everyone upon entry to the house._

_Everyone walked into the living room area, the very same living room that Matt and Mariska almost were married in seven years later and they all took a seat. Mariska taking the most time to sit down, causing Matt to wonder if she was sick and they were all there to break it to the rest of the family._

"_Alright Jeffrey. What is all this cloak and dagger seriousness about?" Gil asked when Jeff was finally done helping Mariska sit down and took a seat himself. "Are you and Mariska alright?"_

"_Yes Daddy we're better then ever actually. We just came home from the medical clinic though and we have some news that we feel the need to share, before its too late."_

"_What's up guys?" Matt asked, sitting up further into the chair and waiting for his younger brother to continue._

_Jeff waited for another few seconds before speaking but when he did speak again, he left nothing to the imagination any longer. The secret they had been sharing for the past couple of months had finally been revealed._

"_Mari and I are pregnant. We're having a baby and it's a boy!"_

_Mariska sat silently with the smile plastered on her face and surveyed what she could only imagine was going through Jeff's families minds in that moment. She knew Gil's reaction instantly because as soon as the words were out of his son's mouth; Gil had his youngest son up on his feet and was embracing him in a hug. Mariska was happy that Jeff had been right until she saw the reaction that Matt was displaying on his face._

_It was the same look she had been worried about seeing from it and it made her sick to know that she had been right about at least one of the Hardy men. She had really hoped that she wouldn't be right this one time. Mariska just wanted Matt to be as happy as the rest of them were with this news. _

_Apparently, you didn't always get what you wanted though._

"_What does this mean for us and all of our hard work in the ring Jeff? What about your career?" Matt asked; his face solemn and according to Mariska, downright saddened. It was almost as if he thought that because Mariska was pregnant that she would be taking Jeff away. Which couldn't be farther from the truth._

_Instead of letting Jeff answer it, which she should have, she felt the need to do it for the both of them._

"_He is still going to be a WWE Superstar Matt. He is going to be right there beside you the entire time. I will not hold him back and I wouldn't want anyone else to do it either. We're just adding more members to the Hardy clan is all and we want you all to be a part of it."_

_She watched and knew her answer was good enough to wash away Matt's fears about his career and that of Jeff's career. What she did not know at the time was that Matt wasn't upset about his and Jeff's career anymore. _

_Matt was really upset because Mariska in his opinion was making one of the biggest mistakes of her life having this baby with his flaky brother and he really didn't want to see her get hurt. But he also knew there was nothing he could do to stop it. _

_So instead of embracing the brother and honorary sister in law that she was bound to become, he got to his feet and without so much as a goodbye, left the room._


	36. Truthful Conversations

"Anyone home?"

Gil had walked into the home that his elder son shared with Mariska and called down the hall. When he had decided to make the trip to the home, he hadn't thought about calling ahead to announce his arrival. All he did think about was that it was time for him and Mariska to have a talk. Long past time.

He thought he heard rustling coming from the kitchen so he headed in that direction. The closer he got the louder the noise seemed to be. As soon as he reached the entrance way, he saw why. He also knew this had more to do with his younger son Jeff returning then anything cooking related. Obviously he had come at the right time. Mariska needed him, or she needed someone. He would be that person right now.

"Honey, put the pots down. They didn't do anything wrong."

Startled at the sound of his voice through the clanging and banging she had created, Mariska threw the pots down immediately.

_God she must look absolutely crazy right now. _

"Gil, oh my goodness! You startled me! It's so good to see you!"

She immediately enveloped him tightly into a hug and held him close, longer then was surely needed. She knew his reason for coming and the hug, the length and strength of it just proved it.

"How are you doing Gil?" she asked as they pulled away from each other. "You must be on cloud nine right now."

Gil smiled only slightly, not wanting to concern himself with his own feelings. He wasn't here to discuss himself. He was here to discuss Mariska and even more importantly, JJ.

"I feel blessed is what I feel, but I'm concerned about how you are feeling." He put up his hand immediately as Mariska opened her mouth to speak. "Don't tell me that Jeff's return hasn't changed things in a major way. I know different. Matt hasn't been home in days now."

Mariska sighed, instantly giving herself away. There was no hiding it. Matt being gone, without so much as a phone call to her, well it bothered her. Was it really okay for him to disappear this way? After what they had been through with Jeff especially?

"He hasn't called you has he?" Gil asked, breaking her away from her own dreadful thoughts.

"No Gil he hasn't and it's not like him. Not that I blame him. I want to run away myself."

Gil sat quietly, nodding his head and pondering what Mariska was telling him. He understood. As much as he was thankful that Jeff was alive and well all this time, having him come back with barely any memory and stop the wedding was just too much for anyone to handle.

He knew Mariska was torn between both sons and not only that but JJ would end up being torn too.

"It's a bad situation, but if it helps you at all, makes things easier, Matt called me last night. He's fine. He's wrestling now and he does plan on coming home to you soon."

Mariska flopped her body down into the chair and sighed, covering her face with her hands as she did. She was happy that Matt was okay, overjoyed in fact but it didn't help as much as she thought it would.

"There's more that you need to know Mariska."

"What? What more is going on? Gil please! Don't tell me he's hurt in any way. My heart can't take it."

Gil went over his words before speaking again. Normally he would let his son, or sons in this case deal with their own issues but this time, Matt had gone MIA, which left Gil no other choice but to be the one to tell Mariska what was really going on.

"Matt, when he left that day, he went to see Jeff's wife."

The shock of hearing Gil's latest bombshell settled in quickly, leaving a feeling of pure burning at the bottom of her stomach. Of course Matt went to see Jeff's wife. It all made perfect sense now.

Matt was gathering all the troops he could to fight against his very own brother. He was that scared of what he thought he might lose. Little did he know he wasn't going to lose anything at all. Mariska just wished he would call home and listen while she told him that.

"What are you thinking?"

"I just wish he would call me Gil. I'm here, all alone, dealing with Jeff's return and how it makes me feel. I just wish Matt would let us face this together. I thought thats what being a part of a relationship; a marriage meant."

"Matthew is a stubborn boy. Always has been. He deals better with things on his own. Now see; little Jeffrey was always the one that felt things more and let you know. You just have to give Matt the time he needs. He will come back to you and work this out."

Mariska sighed again, louder this time then before. She had resigned herself to giving Matt all the time and space he needed, but she didn't have to sit back and like it. God truth be told, she downright hated it. But she would never be the one to admit it.

"I just miss him, and I'm confused on where any of us go from here."

Gil knew exactly what she meant. He had been wondering the same thing in the private moments he had by himself.

"Do you love Matthew?"

The astonished look on her face said all that he needed to know but she spoke anyway, and he listened.

"Yes Gil. I didn't think it was possible to love again after Jeff but I do love Matt. He's been good for me and good for JJ."

"What about Jeff? Where do you stand with him?" Gil asked, forging ahead without a seconds thought.

"I'm always going to love Jeff; Gil. He was the first person to ever make me feel alive. To make me feel anything at all. That's what makes this even harder to take right now. My love for Jeff."

* * *


End file.
